DEAR YOGESHREE children's behaviour as symbolic communication

DEAR YOGESHREE

This is a revised introduction to a series of stories about the talk and behaviour of a little girl I called 'TAMMY".  She is not an individual child but a combination of two children put together to illustrate how children talk and act out in symbols which child and youth care workers have to sometimes follow in a thread or threads and to interpret as messages that the child is unable to express in direct explicit verbal communication

I remember for example only too well, when I first came into child and youth care work from the field of Education and now that I can look back and reflect with better insight into the behaviour of children that there were dozens of acted-out incidents of children's behaviour  talking to me of their abuse... and I missed their messages.

The Tammy stories are not told as examples of good practice, but used only to illustrate the symbolic language and behaviour of children .... you have to read the full series of four stories to gather the thread and the meaning of  Tammy's message. It is Fewster that says about mentors, " They do not attempt to show the way or assume that they, themselves walk the path of righteousness, for they know that their struggling companions have all that it takes to seek out and discover for themselves" Fewster: 1988, quoted in tutorial letter 106, UNISA  lab3 page1of 7 pages).

It is my hope that the 'Tammy' letters will provide some sort of insight into what I mean by the symbolic              use that children make of language and behaviour to communicate a message that would otherwise remain inarticulated . The exercise for the child and youth care worker is to learn to read the symbolism in its life-space context  It takes careful reflection and a grasp of the idea of symbolic meaning.

Now follows then, the first of the 'Tammy ' incidents:

Although the boys and the girls had separate dormitories, at one time shut off with heavy steel gates, they share the same TV lounge on the boys floor.

 It was a Saturday afternoon and a video movie was being shown. Videos and the swimming pool at that time were the panacea for all child care problems of lack of proper stimulation and interaction. There was a distinct order and preference for seating. Best seats in the house were    on the couch that directly faced the TV screen. It was always the 'main manne' (boys or girls) that had absolute right to these seats, based on the pecking order in the group. If anyone came into the room, the on on the couch lower in the pecking order automatically got up to make way. I soon learn who the 'main mane' were. I called them 'the Mafia'.

At a good five and a half years of age, Tammy didn't stand a chance .As the Director... even a brand new Director  who had not yet earned his stripes, I just about did,... so I sat on the couch.

Tammy came into the room for the first time once the video was well underway. When her eyes had adjusted to the change in the light, she scanned the room to see where she could sit.... Nothing! Every available seat, window-ledge, floor space occupied.

Tammy soon worked it all out and whoop she was on my lap.

Both she and I expected the outcry. "Not fair, Uncle Barrie's girl,.... get off and leave Uncle Barrie alone" But it didn't come. I suppose the rest were too absorbed in the movie to notice or to care. So, slowly the little body relaxed.

 It was then that I heard it. A gentle purring sound and I felt warm air flow through my trouser leg. I got the message just as Tammy almost lovingly said:

" O Uncle Barrie!"

" I farted"

Horror. Trapped on the couch, I heard myself say, "Tammy, don't use that word, Say 'let off' or ' had a wind' or something". But I knew these were only words probably more for the sake of the others than anything else, because deep down inside of me I knew.... this was a magical fart.

 Tammy's magical fart was indelible.

 I had been marked.

 Love

 Barrie