REPORTABLE INCIDENTS... CHILDAND YOUTH CARE IN SOUTH AFRICA

On Saturday mornings, staff collected their weekly rations from the kitchen. They would take a tray, containers and a jug. There was a shouting - two female voices.. I went out of the office to see two female child and youth care workers standing on the steps to the houses. One on one side, the other on the other. Young people were watching. Suddenly, the one picked up her jug of milk and poured it over the other's head. The boys stared.

 Me, "Go to your houses NOW. I'll come and we'll talk in private.  

The story was that the one accused the other of having more supplies than she.

Me, "But you both modelled a way which we are supporting young people to do differently. You help them to find other ways of sorting out disagreements.

End result. I filed an official complaint. Disciplinary hearing. One resigned.... still .. REPORTABLE INCIDENT 

Reportable incident 2

Staff meeting. First hour child and youth care workers only. Second hour all, general staff meeting. We were coming to the end of the first hour.. A child and youth care worker was sharing very personal issues with the other child and youth care workers which affected her response to an incident. It had become a group support moment... which is fine.

A general support staff member walked in.

ME. "Please wait outside for about 5 minutes, we are involved here. Give us 5 minutes". 

She, walking out "STUPID ! RUDE !  LITTLE MAN ! "

End result. I filed an official internal complaint. Internal disciplinary hearing. REPORTABLE INCIDENT.

Reportable incident 3

On Saturday mornings weekly, Woolworths gave us foodstuff which had reached its sell by date. The child and youth care couple (Then known as houseparents) collected the it in the facilities allocated mini-bus. A young child and youth care worker allocate to the group home as a relief worker reported that when the loaded minibus arrived at the hose a pick-up ( bakkie) pulled up alongside. The Woolworth supplies were loaded into it and it would drive off

Me, " Please put it in writing". 

End result. A scheduled internal disciplinary hearing. The couple resigned without attending the hearing. REPORTABLE INCIDENT

Reportable incident 4 

"If you go to the clubs in the red- light area of Johannesburg and get back late, I will not report you. But here's the deal. You will al be present when Mr Lodge does his walk-abouts at breakfast and at homework."

It was a young person who reported this. He must have had other grievances.

End result. Internal disciplinary enquiry. REPORTABLE INCIDENT.

Reportable incident 5

"There is to be NO physical punishment. No hurt whatsoever. As a child and youth care worker you will not punch, kick, pull hair, ears twist fingers, use a belt or cane on any part of the body, hands, feet. You shall not design any form of punishment which results in hurt."

"We might as well resign now", they said.. 

Me, "We'll have staff training to learn other ways of discipline". 

"Not interested" But they did attend. 

 There was a thing called running the gauntlet . The boys lined up in two rows with a narrow passage between the two rows. The offender was forced to run naked through the passage .and the line-up flicked him with wet towels. 

Allegations of physical punishment against the child and youth care worker were responded with "I did nothing. The boys have their own way of dealing with things ".

There was an internal complaint... encouraging and by silence associated with physical punishment.

 End result. Internal disciplinary hearing, Guilty REPORTABLE INCIDENT.

Reportable incident 6

"Are there ay other child and youth care workers in this group who have this problem?" It was a full-blooded text on Facebook. "The manager here at St Goodenough is not a child and youth care worker. She know nothing about child and youth care work. We are suffering. We went to university and we got a degree in Child and Youth Care. Some of us have the certificate. We know what we are doing. But NO,. We are always told we are doing things wrong. Sometimes, some child and youth care workers finish up in disciplinary hearings for doing the right thing.

End result ... REPORTABLE INCIDENT.

Look at Reportable incidents 1--6

It all rests on the 'Code of Ethics for  child and youth care workers. In the Code, the critical sections are the child and youth care worker's ethical and conduct responsibility toward Self, Profession, Client, Colleagues, Employers and Partners and Community. The examples in this blog have attempted to touch on most of these.

 Organisations should have internal procedures for dealing with breached in these . But then Labour issues are different from, in most instances from Ethical and Professional Conduce issues.  They have to be reported to the South African Council for Social Services Professions for further procedural measures too be taken'

An Sacssp form for REPORTING an INCIDENT. is required. It's available by requesting it by e-mail from profcond2sacssp.co.za  This is the submitted to the South African Council through the e-mail address on the form. 

 Thereafter the procedure is set out in the Regulations regarding the Conducting of inquiries into alleged Unprofessional Conduct. Regulations 3 and 4 in terms of the South African Social Services Act 110 of 1963 with Amendments. Which can be downloaded.

It's like this. We have all been waiting for the Child and Youth Care profession to be truly professional and ethical. The procedures are now available to us for this to be. WE must use them.

 

LIFE-SPAN...LIFESPACE...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE IN SOUHAFRICA

 

The usual Monday morning staff meeting. 

"Last evening, at about 5.pm, Pilane ( a young person of about 17years) had one of his tantrums. He broke a window in the dormitory. It was about pocket-money. He wanted it then and there. I said " I'll give it to you on Monday morning."

Me, "What did you do?" 

"Aagh. We've learnt t live with it... that's what he does."

Me. "But you are a child and youth care worker. That's not what we do. We don't learn to "live with". He needs to be helped. He needs to know how to use more appropriate behaviour. We use that moment to help the young person. He needs to know how to, what we call, hold-off. Many of the young people we work with characteristically want immediate gratification. Let's talk about phased. gradual learning to hold- off."

"Aagh, We just live with it. We've got used to it".

Me. "My concern is what happens if he isn't helped to have another way, a more coping way, of waiting for his needs to be met? What will it mean in his marriage? For his children?"

The question was  What's the difference between life-space and life- span work?  

Pilane was in his dorm next to a window. It was 5.00pm on Sunday. He wanted his pocket-money. Guess was he would bully a junior to go to the local Roadhouse to buy him a hamburger and Coke. He couldn't hold off until Monday when the pocket money was due to be routinely paid So, he used a power tantrum and a window break to intimidate, to scare the child care worker into breaking the rules. That's the moment. That's the environment in which he reacted. That's when and where the child and youth care worker seizes the opportunity to start a holding off  Intervention plan . Its the life- space moment for life-span benefit. 

 At St Goodenough, I could never understand  that there were boys in the residential programme who were sons of fathers previously placed there. In at least one instance ...three generations. "My father and my grandfather were here - now I'm here". All three were proud of their St Goodenough history. Even staff, I heard said, 'I looked after his father, and now I'm looking after him".

Me. "We just don't seem to get it. The purpose of our work is to put a sign on the gate .. Out of Business."

It was the Pilane, "We have learnt to live with it" syndrome. It was the "we look after syndrome  Left unassisted Pilani was sure to demonstrate disfunctional relationships of intimacy, Pilane's children were predictably destined to be locked into the system.

St Goodenough again. One of the group homes was allocated to be, what we called, a bridging house. We took in street children from a neighbouring Street Children's Shelter when they were considered ready to be bridged into what we called the mainstream. We observed that the boys had inappropriate attitudes and behaviour toward girls. Projected into mainstreaming their whole approach to the opposite gender, shouted out messages of longer term developmental, life-span, disasters. The boys saw girls as sexual objects, lessor beings, fetchers, carriers and cleaners. But there were only boys in the house. No girls in the life-space. It took very careful planning. We had to create, to design life- space moments in which a few, or a group would mix socially with girls. For child and youth care workers, it was a structured activity.

Designed life- space work for life-span development... how very challenging yet professionally satisfying for us as child and youth care workers. But then again, that's what we do.

 The coffee- bar was useful. At one time, in terms of the 1983 Child Care Act, the Children's Homes had the responsibility to provide follow-up with young people transitioning out of the programme. That changed. So we started a coffee-bar. There was an Old boy's Club as a fee-paying membership and the nature of it's members tended to be something of a Club for those who had made it. Proper longitudinal studies were lacking and are today. In any case their constitution didn't accommodate girls and they were reluctant to include the new generation of black children.

So, we started the coffee-bar.  It was held once a month at the Bridging House. The idea was that, on leaving, young people and now young adults, or who-ever, having been in the programme could always come to the coffee club and talk. It was designed to give support into life-span situations. 

In child and youth care work, it happens now, where the children and young people are. In that time and space, we are preparing them for their whole life-span.  We are preparing their children and their children's children       

THE "LOVE" WORD...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE IN SOUTH AFRICA

 

In the blog "WORDS WE USE" the phrase "We love them good" was used in a child and youth care setting which I called " a family setting". It got me going on the word 'love' as it crops up in child and you care work.

 I can't forget a moment when, in a well known baby sanctuary in Johannesburg, it was said at a Board meeting "If we put a child on Nelson Mandela's lap for a photograph, we can attract a lot of funds". "In my setting", I was tempted to say, " If I put one of my guys on Nelson Mandela's lap, he'll pick his pocket."

Considering this, when the reason for applying was "I love children". I would respond " "These young people might be the very different to love...will you cope if they......?"

In the 14th Century, old English epic poem called Tales of the Green Knight , also known as Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, there is a character called The Nun. On her habit, across her forehead was inscribed Amor Vincit Omnia. ...."Love conquers All". it 's a deliberate play on the word "Love". The different meanings adding a touch of humour in the poem and a double possible interpretation of the nun's character. Her surrender to divine love verses her having surrendered to sexual love.

I had on my shelf a book called The 11 Love styles. In a google search I found an article called 36 definitions of love.  I mention the 36 definitions and 11 styles to highlight the extent of the possible confusion. In child and youth care the multiple shades of styles, language, meaning, experience and understanding of love could lead to similar confused interpretation with implications in practice. Especially as at the moment of intervention, the different styles and language of love within the young person and within the child and youth care worker, engage.

 Let's start with love styles. I rather like the classic model of the psychologist John Alan Lee in his Color Wheel Theory of Love.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/color_wheel_theory_of_love

He suggests 3 Primary styles of love, 3 secondary and 9 tertiary.

His three primary styles are Eros, Ludus and Storge.

The three secondary, Mania, Pragma and Agape.

The 9 tertiary styles are combinations of these.

It 's worth looking very briefly at the primary and secondary love styles.

Eros: very strong physical and emotional connection in relationships. A stranger may immediately evoke strong excitement. Could be an exclusive but not a possessive relationship.

Ludus: meaning game or school. Love style is to look for fun with each other in the relationship. Could include teasing, activities, getting attention is part of the game and part of experiencing the relationship as love.

Storge: is familial love. Style is to grow commitment. "Quietly possessive" love through friendship, which becomes sexual only after commitment is declared". 

Secondary styles

Mania: love style is possessive and co-dependent. May but not necessarily, be associated with a mental disorder.

Agape: The love style is characterised by the person having no self-interest and considerable concern for the other in the relationship. It is a love style that unconditionally accepts the other as a partner and as a part of humanity.

Pragma: businesslike.  Looks for the relationship and what is given in it, to be returned. Style in which it is believed that getting on can be 'worked out'. 

The 9 tertiary styles are combinations of these.

Now for the language of love.

The question on Facebook was just that "What is the language of love?". I interpreted that to mean "In a relationship how is love communicated to another?" Considering the love styles, this could well be communicated and experienced in a different way in each of the styles. A child of about 8 years once said to me "If you cant control me you cant care for me."  Her expectation of the communication of love/caring in the relationship was that she would experience the other in the action of holding her, as managing and containing her within reasonable behavioural boundaries. For her, love is communicated through action, through doing and so to allow her to feel safe from her scary self. some Facebook responses to the question said exactly that. "It's a doing word".

 One response I enjoyed, read "There are 5 love languages, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical touch and acts of service." ( Ntombi Myeni 27 Sepember 2020). This sounds like Agape love style to me. And what I liked about it mostly was that it seemed to come close to a professional relationship that may well be called love and experienced as such by both young person and child and youth care worker. It also rang bells for me because it seemed to resound with the broad definition love as "deeply tender, passionate warm, personal attachment". Note: Affection is regarded as a step beyond. It has to do with feelings of closeness and passion. Love is kind, affection is passionate.

 It resounded with me also because it  spoke to me of compassion.

I found it  in Greater Good Magazine (https//greatergood.berkely.edu/topic/compassion/definition. Undated, Author unknown

"Compassion literally means "to suffer together"....It is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another's suffering and are motivated to relieve that suffering.'...not the same as empathy or altruism though the concepts are related." 

Considering the complexity of the term Love, it is essential the we as professionals interrogate ourselves, our own inherent styles and communication, our love language and our "doing".

I think that if a young person experiences us as professionally compassionate it could safely be called "Love" and what the young person experiences will be experienced as '"Love".