There are a number of words for it: ethos, culture, tone. My word was wallpaper...the wallpaper of the facility programme.
My view was that the 'wallpaper' of the programme is carried primarily by the child and youth care workers as a result of a top-down influence including management. From the ethos carried by staff, comes the rub-off, the trickle-down, which cascades to the young people. I believe It becomes the pervasive relationship style, the pervasive way of problem solving, the world view,, the way of reacting one with the other throughout.
In a group home setting, the child and youth care worker was brisk, often abrasive in maintaining somewhat narrow boundaries . The assistant child and youth care worker experienced this more dominating relationship work style "You do it this way !". Often voices were raised, volume up, body stiffened. The whole House echoed the noise.
He was a newish admission. It was at a returned absconder House Meeting. The question was whether he 'ran from, ran to, or just ran'. He said it was a run from. "From what exactly?"
"From you guys, all of you guys. From the staff. I couldn't be me! Always...do it like that! That's the way it is here. All of you with your 'I'll report you to the child care worker. And the child care worker 'Just do it...otherwise... Otherwise what?"
"You'll see. You'll see... And I'll call the Director." "I ran from all of you. Not one of you.. all of you."
A young person came to me in my office. "Don't tell the child care worker I came to see you. I've got a problem, but I don't want to talk with her. I want to tell you. You know, there were three of us sitting in the foyer waiting for you to come. That child care worker saw us and she got really shirty. She said, 'What you waiting for? If you have a problem you come to me, not to him. You come to me, He's not a child care worker.. he's the Director.".
There was a pervasive climate of relationship ownership throughout . "Listen I'm your child care worker!"
And so the ethos trickled down. "She's not your friend. She's my friend. Go find your own friend "
It was in the wallpaper. No teamwork. My child, my problem...I'll deal with it and no-one else. Let alone the strengths and bonds of others on the staff...no team, strict role definitions and territory gaurding throughout. Let alone the support staff...
Revealed years after having been through the system... "You know who helped me the most? You'll be surprised. It was Thembeka the cleaner. She came in every day - regular. She was straight. "Why don't you....."I needed that. At that time I needed that.. elder's advice. I liked that woman. I didn't tell anyone, We were sort-of friends."
Another time, another place, Group Home number two , House Meeting. The child and youth care worker here was really quite gentle, a listener .House Meetings were held weekly to allow for discussion on anything... a blank agenda form was held by a magnet to the fridge door. If the children and young people wanted to discuss anything, they would write it on the agenda list.
The top-down over-all tone was one of help and support..
The message acted out in practice was "We are all here together for a reason. Let's see what we can do to make our lives better."
One Sunday two little boys had run and were hiding in the school grounds opposite and across the road from the group home. They showed themselves sometimes and then ducked behind the school building. The child and youth care worker called me. Quite right. I was 'on call'. They were small children and she needed support...not authority. I could see them as they ducked and dived around the school building.
My approach...we can't chase and catch them. They will just run even further away next time. Let's leave the. Ignore them. If they don't come back themselves when it gets dusky, we'll make other plans.
Sure enough they came back. They were fed, bathed without comment and a House Meeting was called. In this House there was an 'I'm prepared to tell you' approach in the wallpaper. They were soon to be adopted. Everyone knew. They said at the meeting that they heard one of the others say "Those two ankle biters are running away.... So, We did.!"
At this there was a dreadful. emotionally packed .almost primal wail form one of the adolescent boys at the table. Then heavy sobbing. At least three others shed silent tears. The child and youth care worker did a good job of comforting the wailing boy. He was brought back to the table.
"Why? Why? Why? Why can't we all be kind to each other? We all got problems here! Why can't we just be kind to each other"
The table... "We sorry!"
The staff tone trickle-down of "Be the world you want to see" ..of...even and especially, the young people being, one for the other, part of healing was to become a trickle-down into the next generation and perhaps the next.
I can confirm this. The much later social media posts of past residents surrounded by that wallpaper speak loudly of the suffering of the world and their making the world a better place.
They speak now with loud voices.
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