"Your God is shit!" We were walking down to the pool - towels over our shoulders. She was about 15 years old. "Your God is shit", she said, I just think of my life, my family. No work, no money, fighting and struggling. Your God is shit".
I believed what she said to be her genuine belief and not, as an ordained person, just an attempt to touch a tender spot and push my buttons.
"Ok, I've been there. I've been right where you are. It was a journey. Like me, I guess you have to decide whether God is punishing, a God for White people only, a God for all or a God for a few. It's up to you."
The boys were compulsorily requires to attend chapel services on Sunday nights. They were dressed smartly in the 'Home Uniform". ...blazer, tie, grey slacks. There was a resident chaplain. He celebrated and preached. The senior boys sat in front, juniors at the back.
Right in the midst of the sermon, a very large senior stood up. "You talk shit". he shouted. "You talk one thing and you don't do those things. You don't do what you preach"....He was right.
The chaplain, from the pulpit ordered him out of the chapel. "Take him out!. You get out. Child and youth care workers, take him out" It caused a 10 minute delay as child and youth care workers persuaded him just to leave quietly in his own best interests... which he did, taking three other boys with him.
The compulsion to attend Sunday evening chapel got changed to voluntary attendance in ordinary clothes.
Smallish in stature and sort of arty looking, he was a satanist and didn't in any way hide it. He wasn't the only one. There were probably three in the dormitory facility at the time. The others were secretive. The Constitution of South Africa states very clearly that we have a right to choice of faith and of worship provided that the laws of the country are not breached in doing so. He had an upside down cross on his bedroom wall. He burnt black candles,
His explanation was "Your God does nothing to help make a better world Satan can make a difference. Satan rules the world".
He broke no laws.
The child and youth care worker every night on bedding down and checking for lights out would pass his bedroom, open the door and say "My God is stronger than your god!"
We did once, in the stables. find a black cat with it's throat cut. It wasn't him. It was one on the others who we found also cut himself to let blood.
He came from a place of safety. He said that there was a satanic coven there and he was drawn into one. He couldn't say anything more because the coven had said "You you leave, you die." He wanted to . A local church specialised in counselling young people out of satanism and it's coven activities. The counsellor said that there were different levels in satanism. The highest level, he said, required that a life be taken. "A young person has to be counselled and freed from the sworn articles of belief and practices of each of the levels".
I don't know what it means but he said he was at the third level.
The social worker resigned. Her husband insisted that she must . There is a young people into satanism in the house . He said I am not to work where there is a satanist. Pity, - she was a good social worker.
He had become known in the residential dormitory facility as a bully. He smoked and threatened violence to intimidate other boys and to get his way or wanted materially. Marijuana was illegal in those days. I inherited him as the senior server in the chapel. There was always something of a queue to be a server. You got to .wear a nice red vestment and permitted to enter the sanctuary. ... the holy of holies and when the chaplain wasn't around to to clear the altar. This gave servers access to the communion wine. Every Sunday as senior server, with his long black hair, he stately led the procession to the altar. He was really good.
Behind the altar was a tabernacle which stored and locked away some remains of the blessed sacrament (wafers and wine) for visits to the sick. He and the chaplain were the only ones with keys.
I was often asked why he was the head server when his behaviour outside of chapel was known to me . I said that the church was a place for sinners. But I saw the Sunday serving as an excellent therapeutic experience for him.
One day the chaplain had rare reason to open the tabernacle himself. Big shock.. Inside was the blessed bread and wine but also a stash of marijuana.
Confronted, he said "I thought no-one would ever think to find it in the tabernacle.
Completely out of character,. she up one night and ran away. - into Hillbrow, the then red light area of Johannesburg.
On return. "Tell me what got into your head to run there - of all places."
"God told me to do it".
Who was I to argue with God?
Amen glory be to God
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