CHILDHOOD PREGNANCIES...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE IN SOUTH AFRICA.

 

It's said we have two pandemics - Covid 19 and childhood pregnancies 

Globally the stats are concerning. Apparently, an estimated 21 million girls aged 15 - 19  become pregnant and about 12 million in developing countries give birth every year.

News 24 reported a top story saying that more than 600 hundred girls aged 9 - 10 years gave birth in South Africa in 2020. It quotes Statistics South Africa as having 890,303 babies born and of these, 34,587 were born to girls 17 years and younger.

 Provincially, in South Africa I will focus on Gauteng, the Province in which I live. 

The Gauteng Department of Social Services announced that of the births recorded, there were more than 23,000 teenage pregnancies between April 2020 and March 2021. 

Again Gauteng, 2,976 girls aged 10 - 14 years chose abortion. That's a very scary figure which obviously raises the pregnancy statistics,. These are only the recorded abortions. Locally it is said that  there are herbal "Medicines' which, swollowed or vaginally douched can precipitate an abortion. Private doctors perform abortions. Individual statistics for these abortions, I have not seen.

The  counting confirms the crisis.

 The questions asked are whether there is any substantive research into the reasons for the huge increasing number of early pregnancies. I've only come across opinions, hear-say, and experiential narratives.

 My opinion is based on my experience as a child and youth care worker in a number of different settings.

 Bells would tinkle for me in any of these settings when sexual interest manifested in behaviours earlier than developmentally expected. ..like 9- year olds provocatively picking up the skirt to expose her panties; a history of sexual abuse; school girls with working boyfriends; taking sanitary pads then having them found stashed in the top of the wardrobe or hidden in lockers; precocious flirtation.

My experience is that the first time is not the only time and that following her first penetrative sex experience we could safely say that the girl was sexually active. Given the right kind of trust in a child and youth care worker, girls would share their sexual status. It was important in any event because of possible HIV .

 She was 10 years old - not yet menstruating. The playground duty teacher found her pulling boys into the girls toilet. Some boys  complained. The school complained. Something they said, had to be done. One thing we could do was to allocate a child and youth care worker to be on hand to allow the school a swift call out. 

 We had a Sexologist on the Board of Management. She offered to spend time with the girl.

 "Barrie. You must put this girl onto contraception...the injection

"But she's not menstruating and she's only 10 "..

"You have to choose. She can menstruate at any time. Either you contracept, or you have a childhood pregnancy on your hands. You must decide"

I struggled. Do I, can I put a premenstrual girl on contraception?.'

I safe-guarded myself by taking my opinion to the full Board of Management.

Agreed. She must be on the injection.

If, as an institution, we found this to be such a complex ethical dilemma, then how much more is this for a parent both an ethical and practical dilemma.

The general chatter in the villages, townships, and even in the inner city was and I hear, still is that the local clinics are not always child friendly. The Health practitioners have been known to shout at the girls and to call them names. They can I was told, be judgemental, Local people have said often to me that they fear talk. Talk where everybody knows everybody. "Now everyone will know. What do they say about me as a girl? 'What do they say about me as a mother?'

There are other factors at work. One is economic. We have a child care grant to unworking mothers. When it was first made available and paid, there was a lot of talk that in poor families some of the girl's mothers, after the first baby was born, told the girl to go get herself pregnant again in order to get a second grant. Then there are incidents of the girl's mother applying to foster those children in order to get the larger foster care grant.

Sugar Daddies are now called ' Blessers' in South Africa. I experienced this mostly in township environments. If he had a car and some form of job title,  - he was a target. But then again the girls were frequently sought after, called 'Sweet 16's or "Fresh young ones" They would pay a 'girlfriend allowance and more. It's money for sex.  

Girls have explained their pregnancy as peer pressure. They say that their friends were all 'doing it.' and "It's nice. Don't listen to your parents, they are just old fashioned. The boy can wear a condom."

Boys, however were sayng that sex with a condom was like eating a sweet with it's paper on. Sex with a condom was not good sex.

I had more than one experience of girls deliberately trying to get pregnant to escape having to be at school or to escape their placement in the Children's Home. If girls were on the pill, we had to take responsibility as child and youth care workers to to administer the pill ourselves and to check under the tongue to see it had been swallowed.

The effect of early pregnancies in South Africa, as anywhere, but in a country riddled with excessive poverty and unemployment, is that the cycle, not only remains unbroken, but exacerbated. Girls are no longer expelled from school when pregnant. Once having given birth if there is a caregiver.. like granny, they can return to class. My experience is that many don't complete their education to matric (maturity) level. That makes it even more difficult to find work.

 Now for Covid 19.. are the two, now called pandemics, connected?

There has been , world wide, an incline in the number of girls giving birth during this period. Some opinions are that it is too early to tell if Covid 19 is a major contributing factor in this.

In SouthAfrica, there is a startling figure of a 60% increase following the lockdown period in which schools were closed or class reduced.  ( Again, the Gauteng Department of Health Report)

Some opinion has it that during the lockdown, contraceptives were in short supply or unavailable in the clinics. That included condoms.

 Violence against women and children has itself been called an epidemic and a culture in recent years in this country. The number if incidents of gender violence and child abuse increased during the lockdown.  The 2020| 2021 Annual Crime Statistics Report put the number of child assaults at 24000. Child rape statistics increased.

Taken all in all, we have a serious crisis with no easy solutions  When the Child and Youth Care system had to be overhauled and transformed in this country, in 1995 forward, an Inter Ministerial Committee was formed. It is time to form such a body again to address this crisis. Social Welfare, Health, Education, at least,

As social service professionals and practitioners, we advocate for social workers, community development workers, youth workers and child and youth care workers to be employed wherever children and young people are. As an inter managerial team (IMT), there has to be strategic, structured and unstructured interventions and support to contribute to the mitigation of  this crisis. 

 We need child and youth care workers employed in schools and in communities to do what they do best in the transformation of South African society.

That's what we do!

  

  

 

  

PEOPLE INFLUENCE...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE TALK

You may say  this is not a child and youth care work story.

But it is!

I have been frequently asked "Who in your life influenced you the most to be what you are today, and why?' 

Teaching, like child and youth care work, changes lives. The teacher/child relationship (dyad) is perhaps, not as intense, not as intimate. Connectedness within the formality of the classroom environment doesn't always allow it.

My big teacher influence, did !

He was my Art subject teacher in Secondary School.

 There was a rule. If your class teacher didn't come to the classroom, then, after ten minutes, you "Get on with your own work ". 

 Our Maths teacher was the Deputy Headmaster. Deputies were required to to teach on a very reduced schedule because of their administrative responsibilities.. We called him "Klop". The boys gave him that name because he wore metal studs in his shoes. When he walked the cements corridors, we could hear him coming with the klip. klop, klip, klop.

 That day  - no klip, klop. After ten minutes "Get on with your own work." I had a partly completed cay pot waiting to be finished in the Art Block, ...far from the regular classroom. So, off I trotted.

"Klop came", they said. "He marked yo absent in the absentee book. Quick ! Go chase the absentee boy and cross out your name.".  Bunking class was an offence punishable by the cane. Klop was known to cane very hard. "'See, I'm not absent, I'm at school." So the absentee boy allowed my name to be crossed through. 

 Next morning in assembly, the Headmaster called out the names of offenders. "Come to my office". My name was among them.

"You bunked Maths."

"No Sir."...Explanation given.

 "Bunked AND tampering with official documents. This will hurt me more than it will hurt you - BEND !'

It was just a casual conversation with the Art teacher. "I came to finish my pot...and, and. and."

 "That's not right", he said. "That's  not fair. I'm going to the Headmaster about this. I'll talk to him about this."

 Which he did.

The report back to me was that the Headmaster apologised. He couldn't take back the cuts, but he would remove my name from the punishment book.

As a small, nothing learner, what was a somewhat thin teacher/learner connection, thickened. I had been heard, listened to and acted on behalf of , against extreme authority.

 As in class, I threw pots, we talked more than before. Especially about my future. In these interactions he dropped the school tags of "You boy!'...Lodge !.  "Little Lodge !". He called me by me first name.

 In one of these conversations, he said. "I know you want to be a doctor .  I know you think your parents can't afford it. That's not why I must tell you this. You are a teacher. Your not the best artist in the class but you are an Art teacher. But - do something about your voice. It's too monotone. You become an Art teacher and I'll take you into this Art School when you graduate."

And that' changed my life. I did want to teach Art. I knew it was my real career passion.  And that is what happened.

Art teacher in his Department..

Art teacher educator at a University,

Art therapist in a Child Guidance and Research Centre.

Clinical Director of Children and Youth Care residential facilities.

 Teacher of child and youth care workers

This is not a child and youth are story, you may say.

 BUT IT IS.

THE TONE TRICKLES DOWN...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE TALK

 

There are a number of words for it:  ethos, culture, tone. My word was wallpaper...the wallpaper of the facility programme.

 My view was that the 'wallpaper' of the programme is carried primarily by the child and youth care workers as a result of a top-down influence including management. From the ethos carried by staff, comes the rub-off, the trickle-down, which cascades to the young people. I believe It becomes the pervasive relationship style, the pervasive way of problem solving, the world view,, the way of reacting one with the other throughout.

In a group home setting, the child and youth care worker was brisk, often abrasive in maintaining somewhat narrow boundaries . The assistant child and youth care worker experienced this more dominating relationship work style "You do it this way !". Often voices were raised, volume up, body stiffened. The whole House echoed the noise.

He was a newish admission. It was at a returned absconder House Meeting. The question was whether he 'ran from, ran to, or just ran'. He said it was a run from.  "From what exactly?" 

"From you guys, all of you guys. From the staff. I couldn't be me! Always...do it like that! That's the way it is here. All of you with your 'I'll report you to the child care worker. And the child care worker 'Just do it...otherwise... Otherwise what?"

"You'll see. You'll see... And I'll call the Director." "I ran from all of you. Not one of you.. all of you."

 A young person came to me in my office. "Don't tell the child care worker I came to see you. I've got a problem, but I don't want to talk with her. I want to tell you. You know, there were three of us sitting in the foyer waiting for you to come. That child care worker saw us and she got really shirty. She said, 'What you waiting for? If you have a problem you come to me, not to him. You come to me, He's not a child care worker.. he's the Director.".

There was a pervasive climate of relationship ownership throughout . "Listen I'm your child care worker!" 

And so the ethos trickled down. "She's not your friend. She's my friend. Go find your own friend " 

It was in the wallpaper. No teamwork. My child, my problem...I'll deal with it and no-one else. Let alone the strengths and bonds of others on the staff...no team, strict role definitions and territory gaurding throughout. Let alone the support staff... 

 Revealed years after having been through the system... "You know who helped me the most?  You'll be surprised. It was Thembeka the cleaner. She came in every day - regular. She was straight. "Why don't you....."I needed that. At that time I needed that.. elder's  advice. I liked that woman. I didn't tell anyone, We were sort-of friends."

 Another time, another place, Group Home number two , House Meeting. The child and youth care worker here was really quite gentle, a listener .House Meetings were held weekly to allow for discussion on anything... a blank agenda form was held by a magnet to the fridge door. If the children and young people wanted to discuss anything, they would write it on the agenda list. 

 The top-down over-all tone was one of help and support..

The message acted out in practice was "We are all here together  for a reason. Let's see what we can do to make our lives better." 

 One Sunday two little boys had run and were hiding in the school grounds opposite and across the road from the group home. They showed themselves sometimes and then ducked behind the school building. The child and youth care worker called me. Quite right. I was 'on call'. They were small children and she needed support...not authority. I could see them as they ducked and dived around the school building. 

My approach...we can't chase and catch them. They will just run even further away next time. Let's leave the. Ignore them. If they don't come back themselves when it gets dusky, we'll make other plans.

 Sure enough they came back. They were fed, bathed  without comment and a House Meeting was called. In this House there was an 'I'm prepared to tell you' approach in the wallpaper. They were soon to be adopted. Everyone knew.  They said at the meeting that they heard one of the others say "Those two ankle biters are running away.... So, We did.!"

 At this there was a dreadful. emotionally packed .almost primal wail form one of the adolescent boys at the table. Then heavy sobbing. At least three others shed silent tears. The child and youth care worker did a good job of comforting the wailing boy. He was brought back to the table.

"Why? Why? Why? Why can't we all be kind to each other? We all got problems here! Why can't we just be  kind to each other"

 The table... "We sorry!"

The staff tone trickle-down of "Be the world you want to see" ..of...even and especially, the young people being, one for the other, part of healing was to become a trickle-down into the next generation and perhaps the next.

 I can confirm this. The much later social media posts of past residents surrounded by that wallpaper speak loudly of the suffering of the world and their making the world a better place.

They speak now with loud voices.

 

THE UNSPOKEN US...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE TALK

The question went something like this: "What do you as a child and youth care worker regret or are reluctant to talk about for fear of humiliation or victimisation in the workplace?"

It took about three weeks self and soul searching to reach a place for me to put together  some sort of list and then even now to  gather the courage to talk abut the unspoken me in child and youth care -  more especially in the facilities in which  practice. It was all very personal and too exposing of my otherwise hidden vulnerabilities.

The same questioner, later posted a quote saying that leaders share their stories and knowledge.

 In this week's blog, I'm not about knowledge...Stories maybe, but inner experiences as a child and youth care worker. Ok, let me try. 

What I didn't talk about, share or say, was the real ME. The ME who had triggers, fears, often confused feelings. I didn't talk of what I knew about myself that I believed was unknown to others...Not to anyone...not my family, my supervisor and certainly not to the Board of Management or the staff. I was convinced that to speak these things out would severely damage my credibility, as a professional child and youth care worker and so erode my reputation, my image. In good organisational practice, this should not be.

SO, HERE GOES...

In my child and youth care work with boys, mainly in trouble with the law, I was afraid of being physically hurt through  my having to intercede in any violent incident or by direct assault. It happened far too early in my practice that I was actually deliberately hurt, my head pushed against a barbed wire fence The bleeding of my forehead was excessive as it ran down my face. It wasn't as bad as it looked, but it left me with a lingering fear of, again being physically hurt by  boys  in the programme.

It was different with the girls. My fear was that at any time I might have false allegations of sexual abuse made against me.

 That got sparked by two incidents, again, early in my practice. I probably over reacted to an incident of what I regarded as a planned attempt at seduction. The other was an incident of exposure...stripping off.

I refused to have any discussion with a girl unless the office door was open or at least ajar. A female staff member had to be within calling distance during any interview with a girl No stockroom entry unless on my own. I would not drive a girl in the car unless I was accompanied. Rules, rules, rules . My triggered over reactions stayed untold.

On Friday, after school he had gone home for the weekend. By Saturday mid-morning, he was back on his own volition. Tea was always set out in the foyer for staff. When I came in for tea - there he was, drinking from the saucer ( culturally the way it was done) with his feet on the coffee table.

 Me: "What are you doing here. You're supposed to be at home. This is  staff tea. Don't drink out of the saucer and TAKE YOUR FEET OFF THE TABLE !!"...volume building to a crescendo.

 He raised himself a little, took the cup and saucer filled with tea and smashed it against the foyer wall. "You know f**k all !."

 He was right. Turns out that he went home on Friday to find Mom with a boyfriend and she told him to go back to the facility as it wasn't convenient for him to be at home that weekend.

Eventually the link was made inside me. I was a teacher at the time. I went into the Main Hall to watch a talent competition rehearsal. I put my feet on the chair in front of me. I walked the Headmaster "Get your feet off that chair" very loudly, and then quietly, "Sorry, I thought that you were one of the boys." I felt so very humiliated, so belittled in front of my pupils. I had been spoken to, by the Headmaster asif a naughty child.

 Putting feet on the table was a come-back of that moment.

 Then, unspoken was the person, the being I am... the I ams. Knowing myself as what they call a perfectionist. Advantages and disadvantages as that affects practice performance. I can't ( couldn't ) delegate. My fear was that it wouldn't be done as well as I would have done it.. End result...burnout, not once but twice.

 And then the fear of abandonment. I had unspoken fears that I would be left with only me to do what had to be done. It came to me ...I was able to make the link to a hospitalisation experience when I was about 5years old. I looked out of the hospital window during visiting hours to see two people - as I thought, my mother and father leaving without having visited me.

It wasn't them!

Abandoned, I thought, left by my very support system.

 We can talk of child and youth care politics ( small p ) but my thinking is that we, as self, very often in child and youth care work unspeak and unshare our selves.

"And I never told my supervisor".

MISTAKE.

LONG PAST LASTING MEMORIES ...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE TALK

Surely, it will not be forgotten that our South African pioneer and child and youth care guru, Brian Gannon, in the mid eighties initiated a year of Making Memories. The idea was to encourage child and youth  care workers to design, to create moments which would provide children and young people with positive, meaningful, lasting memories. That, as an initiative was needed at that time. Really meaningful, purposefully structured, creative positive, life enhancing moments tended at the time to be lost in what Brian Gannon called child and youth care logistics. Creating purposeful meaningful memories was breaking new ground.      

Some time past now, in Facebook, someone posted  a text which read something like this."  If you want to know what I miss about the residential programme, it is the lunch that the child care worker ( name) cooked on Sundays.

Unusual for a, now middle aged past resident to have a lasting good memory of a meal...food! Mostly food is remembered with complaint - except for puddings. Puddings were a Wednesday treat, They have a way of being remembered long into adulthood. 

Anyway, it got me wondering. What is it that children and young people remember? What memories linger for life? 

Responses to that post and the experience of other , now middle age past residents was that the people in the programme, child and youth care workers were well remembered. Often fondly, often not.

 He was about 9 years old. She had been in my residential facility for 2 years when she was moved to another in another City in another Province to be with her brother, also in care. After some 2 years, then 11, he asked to visit the old place for part of a school holiday. They thought it to be a sound developmental, therapeutic idea, so with a one-on-one child and youth care worker, he came.

On seeing me from a reasonably close distance, he said to the child and youth care worker "There he is. That's him! I'll never forget that SMILE." 

 Social media posts among long past residents and community - based young people followed that theme. Child and youth care workers were remembered years after. mentioned by name for their personal characteristics, their qualities of caring or not caring, as they then experienced it and for their relationship. Often with gratitude.

She had to be moved to a more secure facility and immediately because of issues connected with her parents. 

Where is she?  - very upset and angry. "She was here when we left for school and not here when we came back. That's not right. At least we should have been told. Don't you know  for us here...an injury to one is an injury to all " 

The connection among each other is another of those lasting memory threads. "They were / we were, like family, - brothers and sisters"

 The social media posts like that abound,  Many still keep contact with each other. "You were always there for me . I could always share with you". Sharing common life experiences and situations strengthen the peer bond into memories which social media has proven last well into adulthood.

 Then came so well the "Do you remember when ? " posts. Most I read are lasting memories of what they got up to as  and young people in a facility. Especially if it was a  daring escapade.

"Do you you know what I remember?  We had such fun when we used to break into the tuck shop at night and steal sweets and chocolate bars. It was such fun man!  We planned together so carefully. Night-time creeping down there... breaking in so quietly and then... the chocolates. That's  what I remember so well."

Some can't forget now as adults, the child and youth care system and what it forced on them in the name of discipline. Way back before the law prohibited young people from being held in prison cells, there came the Juvenile Prison. An advance was the Reformatory. and a less restrictive institution called an Industrial School in which the boys were accommodated in secure dormitories.

They were told to expect us, at the Juvenile Prison. We were proposing Child and Youth Care training training for the prison wardens. What we experienced in any event  happened every day.. The boys stood at attention at the foot of their beds, holing their identification open at the chest...name, age, offence. The big memory for me were the made beds. Military style with one blanket covering the bed and the other rolled and twisted to make a decorative feature on the single pillow. ..each different and each twisted into very creative designs. They never forgot. For when, after the law change, they trickled down into the bigger boys residential caring facility called  St Goodenough Children's Home...Lo and Behold - they followed exactly the same bed-making thing.

At the residential facility I inherited in 1986 the boys chewed the blanket edges on the bed to make a sharp creased edge. Staff would hold an inspection with the boys standing at attention at the end of the bed. This has come up endlessly on Social Media as positive never  to be forgotten.

Some try to forget. "Oh, I don't talk about that. ..it didn't happen I say I was at a Hostel as a boarder. It's part of my life that doesn't exist. Some remember proudly and let the memory be known. 'I made it through all that. Look at me now

 Today, child and youth care workers do design and  purposefully create experiences, activities and moments to last as lasting, uplifting memories They seem not to get much social media mention. Pity

Again and again there is a need for we child and youth care workers and for young people to tell our stories. Again and again we must let our memory making in the lives of children be known. It's part of what we do, It's so very important.

GOD, SATAN, CHAPEL EPISODES... CHILD AND YOUTH CARE TALK.

"Your God is shit!" We were walking down to the pool - towels over our shoulders. She was about 15 years old. "Your God is shit", she said, I just think of my life, my family. No work, no money, fighting and struggling. Your God is shit".

I believed what she said to be her genuine belief and not, as an ordained person, just an attempt to touch a tender spot and push my buttons.

"Ok, I've  been there. I've been right where you are. It was a journey. Like me, I guess you have to decide whether God is punishing, a God for White people only, a God for all or a God for a few. It's up to you."

The boys were compulsorily requires to attend chapel services on Sunday nights. They were dressed smartly in the 'Home Uniform". ...blazer, tie, grey slacks. There was a resident chaplain. He celebrated and preached. The senior boys sat in front, juniors at the back.

Right in the midst of the sermon, a very large senior stood up. "You talk shit". he shouted. "You talk one thing and you don't do those things. You don't do what you preach"....He was right.

The chaplain, from the pulpit ordered him out of the chapel. "Take him out!. You get out. Child and youth care workers, take him out" It caused a 10 minute delay as child and youth care workers persuaded him just to leave quietly in his own best interests... which he did, taking three other boys with him. 

The compulsion to attend Sunday evening chapel got changed to voluntary attendance in ordinary clothes.

Smallish in stature and sort of arty looking, he was a satanist and didn't in any way hide it.  He wasn't the only one. There were probably three in the dormitory facility at the time. The others were secretive. The Constitution of South Africa states very clearly that we have a right to choice of faith and of worship provided that the laws of the country are not breached in doing so. He had an upside down cross on his bedroom wall. He burnt black candles,

His explanation was "Your God does nothing to help make a better world Satan can make a difference. Satan rules the world".

He broke no laws.

The child and youth care worker every night on bedding down and checking for lights out would pass his bedroom, open the door and say "My God is stronger than your god!"

We did once, in the stables. find a black cat with it's throat cut. It wasn't him. It was one on the others who we found also cut himself to let blood.

 He came from a place of safety. He said that there was a satanic coven there and he was drawn into one. He couldn't say anything more because the coven had said "You you leave, you die." He wanted to . A local church specialised in counselling young people out of satanism and it's coven activities. The counsellor said that there were different levels in satanism. The highest level, he said, required that a life be taken. "A young person has to be counselled and freed from the sworn articles of belief and practices of each of the levels". 

I don't know what it means but he said he was at the third level.

The social worker resigned. Her husband insisted that she must . There is a young people into satanism in the house . He said I am not to work where there is a satanist. Pity, - she was a good social worker.

He had become known in the residential dormitory facility as a bully. He smoked and threatened violence to intimidate other boys and to get his way or wanted materially. Marijuana was illegal in those days. I inherited him as the senior server in the chapel. There was always something of a queue  to be a server. You got to .wear a nice red vestment and permitted to enter the sanctuary. ... the holy of holies and when the chaplain wasn't around to to clear the altar. This gave servers access to the communion wine. Every Sunday as senior server, with his long black hair, he stately led the procession to the altar. He was really good.

Behind the altar was a tabernacle which  stored and locked away some remains of the blessed sacrament (wafers and wine) for visits to the sick. He and the  chaplain were the only ones with keys. 

 I was often asked why he was the head server when his behaviour outside of chapel was known to me . I said that the church was a place for sinners.  But I saw the Sunday serving as an excellent therapeutic experience for him.

One day the chaplain had rare reason to open the tabernacle himself. Big shock.. Inside was the blessed bread and wine but also a stash of marijuana.

 Confronted, he said "I thought no-one would ever think to find it in the tabernacle.

Completely out of character,. she up one night and ran away. - into Hillbrow, the then red light area of Johannesburg.

 On return. "Tell me what got into your head to run there - of all places."

"God told me to do it". 

 Who was I to argue with God?

STAFF LEAVING ...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE TALK

 

At 3.00 pm, she said she was going to buy the girls some winter jerseys.

Bu they can go themselves, or go with you to choose"

"I'll choose".

She didn't come back.

 Her sister 'phoned to say that she's not coming back and she, the sister, will come to collect her clothing.

One minute an on-line child and youth care worker - the next minute...walk out...gone!! 

"She needs a year", said the sister. She'll come back in a year."

An immediate dormitory meeting.

"What did we do?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. You did nothing, She needed a rest". 

Fairly soon after, a new appointee child and youth care worker was  introduced to the girls. She came early next day to start and to wake them. The moment the girls had gone to school, she came to my office, letter in hand. "Here, - I resign. You've got a nest of snakes up there. I'm on three months trial and 24hours notice. Here it is". She had barely put done her handbag when she picked it up again.

At the dormitory meeting..."We liked Sister Pat. We didn't like that one."

Connections count.

"Do you have a place for a 14year old girl as a place of safety? We'll get the Place of Safety Order and promise a  placement order within 3 days, After 4 years of being her child and youth care worker, that woman left overnight. She was there when they went to bed. Gone in the morning - clothes and all - no warning. This girl tried to cut her wrists. She needs a connecting female child and youth care worker immediately.

 There was a place in a group home...small number of children, close supervision and a warm, female child and youth care worker.

It's little wonder considering experiences like these in the lives of children that I encountered this.

I arrived at the facility late evening as the newly appointed Director. I was met by a group of girls in their pyjamas sitting in the foyer. Each r girl was introduced to me by a senior girl. 

That done.

 "Ok Mr Lodge. Now you are here. When are you going to leave?"

Oh, my word! My first moment in child and youth care. going   first encounter and I was called upon to do some fancy footwork. When they were satisfied that I wasn't beat a hasty retreat, they laid down the rules they said I must follow.

" No drinking. You are allowed one beer at our yearly picnic...and that' s all!"  

"You won't hit a girl"

'When you make rules, you will discuss them with us first". 

"When you want to leave you will tell us before. We want to say goodbye properly."

As it was, I had given them my promised 5 years minimum. They were told 4 months before. By then the Board of Management had established a 'Transition' Committee. It had 2 Psychologists among other professionals. I was given personal psychological supervision and the Transition' committee worked on and evaluated the strategy with the children for my departure. Each step was planned. A noticeboard was put into each dormitory and each of the group homes. It displayed a calendar showing the countdown events for each step.

My wife and I were due to leave in5 days.

"You must come now!!" It was the night nurse. " Three girls have cut their wrists". One was hospitalised.

Three days before leaving there was a final 'farewell' Board of Management meeting. I reported the incident of the three girls...and wept. I really thought we had done everything right. Weeping at a Board meeting was an embarrassment for me. I thought it was a slight on my professionality. Professionals don't cry!...hey do sometimes!!

The professional practice  learning was to live with me.   

Firing and retrenchment of child and youth care workers proved to be experienced differently. Both of these staff-leaving contingencies are at some time inevitable...each with its own child and youth care implications. I can't help thinking of a divorce in which one or both parties bad mouth the other to the children.

The usual suspension of the child and youth care worker before the hearing does provide  a window of time in which to meet with the young people, prepare them and reassure them of of fairness in the treatment of the child and youth care worker and continued child and youth care services...if.if, if

Shift workers are usually told not to come into the facility during suspension. It is obviously more difficult with resident child and youth care workers who are then told "No interaction with the young people." to avoid the possible badmouthing of the Board of Management, the management team and other child and youth care staff.to the children....to avoid splitting and pairing .. How is this then enforced?

Child and youth care worker James was to be retrenched at the end of a year school term because we were moving from a dormitory to a group home setting. The dormitory styled buildings were to be used as a school. We had to be out. There were more dormitories than group homes,. The number of young people  had to be about halved The staff reduced by three. All the fair warning, retrenchment protocols were strictly followed and the young people, one by one were briefed with all the moves. Again a "Transition' Committee was formed. 

Here came a delegation of boys. "Why are you firing Mr James? This is supposed to be a place of caring. It's going to be Christmas at the end of the month. Where's he going to go? You say you care. You don't. You should let him stay."

 Every word had been prompted and rehearsed by James.       I knew because he had sent a letter to the Board of Management  in which he had used exactly their little speech, word for word. 

To tell the young people that this is a bad place to be, that it doesn't care may and can happen in firing and retrenchment situations. It's really hard to maintain child and youth care professional practice in the best interests of the child if one is forced to leave.

In the main, young people seem to understand retirement "She's old. She must rest now. She must go and stay with her family."

Each of these staff-leaving leaving scenarios happen...including the possibility of an over night absconding and absence without leave. It means that if staff leaving can be expected that there has to be orgaisational  back-up to cover the contingency.

Masud Hoghughi had two important mantras. Repeatedly in his training he would say, "The only thing that is certain, is uncertainty" and "Expect the unexpected".

Staff leaving is to be expected.

  

 

 

FANTASY AND DELUSION...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE TALK

   

There was Blom (flower) and Mielie (a head of maize}. Blom spoke into the one ear and Maize into the other. Mielie said "Just go on and do it!!" Blom said "No! no!!  - that's not you. It's not right".  

Full psychiatric evaluation showed no schrizophrenia. Sometimes Mielie won and sometimes Blom. Given a chioce, we would ask "What does Blom say?"  Where do these id, and ego and superego voices come from ...Ancestors?  Over time we all knew that Blom and Mielie were real heard voices for the boy. 

She was sat with a group of girls in the foyer. Normal girly talk complete with teenage giggles - all very light-hearted. It was comfort for her. She needed this. 

I stood at the tea-wagon. She and two others sat facing it. The rest of the group were on the other side of the coffee table and facing her. 

I say it was what she needed because she was grieving the tragic death two weeks previous of her 21year old boyfriend Len. It was a serious relationship with the promise of marriage when she turned 18 - which was soon.

 Suddenly her eyes fixed on the main door of the facility which opened up into the foyer. 

 "Len! Len! It was a deeply emotional cry. Her body stiffened, her eyes opened wide. She twisted. her body and eyes tracked from the main door to behind her and up the stairs to the girl's dormitory.

"Len! Len!: Then tears,i

'Did you see Len?" one asked. 

"It was Len. Len came. He went up stairs.

 Not one girl questioned it.

When the news came from the hospital that their mother had died, we followed our standard procedure. We asked that the body not be removed until the two were taken by the child and youth care worker to the hospital and the bediside of the mother's body . They took flowers., placed them on the mother's chest, kissed her forehead took her cold hand and said their goodbyes.

 They had to experience the reality of her passing.

Time elapsed as we waited for the family from Zimbabwe. It was a full funeral service attended by the children, with the coffin present. They again had flowers to put on the coffin before it was wheeled out.

 She was cremated and the relatives took the ashes to Zimbabwe .

 Telephone calls were made to the two children from Zimbabwe. On more than one occasion they told us, The Zimbabwe family had said "Your mother is safe with us." Meaning the ashes were urned and on the shelf above the frireplace awaiting internment.

From snippets of conversation the child and youth care worker joined the dots. The two children were living with the delusion that their mother was alive and living in Zimbabwe awaiting an internment  At the hospital, they thought that the mother was just sleeping... she looked like she was sleeping. The funeral was just something we all went to as a Home.

Hasty footwork had to be done. The Zimbabwe relatives were persuaded to bring the ashes to Johannesburg. An internment was arranged. The two children held and placed the  urns into the wall of remembrance.  They were told to tell us all what they remembered about their mother now gone forever. The cubicle was sealed with a plaque. They helped. There were tears....at last !!! Good healthy tears.

A friend brought her to the office "She has not been at all well" she said. "It seems like she's in another world...like she's not connected."  She had asked to see her children.

"Let's talk a bit while we we call the children"...structural delay.

Fear struck suddenly, looking towards the door, "They're coming! They're coming!"

"Who's coming?" 

"They are coming. They are coming to suck my blood and take me away. Only the blood of Jesus can stop them. They are coming."

 "I can call upon the blood of Jesus and chase them away" I said.

 Putting my hands without contact around her head, I said the words I thought were needed. "Out...Out In the name of Jesus.

She stiffened like a board, like a plank of wood, resting her neck on the chairback and her legs outstretched in front of her. Then she slumped into a coma. like state.

The resident nurse was called and the ambulance. Vitals were taken. They were fine.

 The Psychiatric ward did wonders and after three days she was discharged.

At the back of this episode was a true story which had an indelible effect on my practice.

A woman in a psychiatric facility for some or other condition refused to eat. This was unrelated to her diagnosis.  It didn't matter what they brought her, or what they did, they could not persuade her to eat. The doctors and the psychologists did all they could. But...Nope!!

 She was fading, wasting away and would surely die.

 A young intern was the only one who had been part of the treatment procedures asked to be allowed to try. It was agreed. "OK, you try."

he went to her bedside . She said,"Im not going to eat. They are trying to poison me".  '

"You're right he said. They are trying to kill you. They're not trying to poison you. They want yo to starve to death.'

That evening, she ate.

"What did you do?"

Our best qualified professionals tried and she didn't eat. What did you do?"

'I needed", he said "to step into her world for a moment...into her reality. Her fantastic delusion is her reality. I agreed with her reality as a start and worked from there". 

ALCOHOL...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE IN SOUTH AFRICA

 

Certainly more than thrice on my watch, there was occasion for young people to be whipped off to the hospital emergency rooms for a stomach pump. They were not just drunk on alcohol, but unconscious with the risk of alcohol poisoning.

The one really did nearly die. He was 14 years old and was place as  procedure had it from a facility that transitioned boys at that age. At 14, in our facility,  he was put into a so called senior house.

Brandy was forced down him - held and poured down his throat. They said it was initiation. He was to prove he was a senior 

 Deeply unconscious the emergency room had to give him breathing assistance on a ventilator and an immediate stomach pump.

 He was unconscious for three days, He could have died. The father and I sat bedside . Of course there was a threat of legal action. I would e held responsible.

Child and youth care workers in open facilities in particular and in community-based settings have to expect alcohol experimentation and more . Drinking to get drunk is not uncommon. Organisatio'nal procedures are established for dealing with drunk young people. I learnt a lot from first aid courses - how to position them in the recovery position and..and..and. When and how to talk this thing through.

Alcohol stories abound.

The 60 seater bus was pulled up just outside the main gate. The boys loaded themselves in it to go to the annual camp. The very back seat of the bus was highly favoured. A full bus width bench seat. I couldn't understand why it stayed empty

Roll-call. Some senior boys and a staff member not yet boarded. - '"wait.. wait they're coming" There came two large boys. They  were carrying a long roll of blankets in which there must have been something heavy,

"Luggage in the luggage hold

" No.. It's needed for the journey.

"'Well put it on the back seat"'

Then came the staff member...clearly drunk...like, body swaying drunk.

Me: "Off, off. You're not coming like that. I can't deal with this now... when we get back from camp. Just go back to your flat now."

He did.

The bus was a good number of kilometers from the facility when the blankets were unwrapped. Inside, now revealed, was a boy, the brother of one of the resident boys...and what we called an old boy of the residential programme. 

Broad smiles throughout the bus. They had smuggled him onto the bus to come to the camp holiday uninvited and disallowed. They had waited to unwrap him when the bus would not turn back.

 The story behind this was that the brothers had sat with the staff member most of the night, fed him with alcohol and drank together. They then brought him in on their plan. Bribed and drunk he went along with it.

What do we have here? I had heard stories, totally in breach of ethical code, of drinking alcohol with boys. The boys would then say "We will tell if you don't".....whatever . It cut two ways. Child and youth care worker may have provided the boys with alcohol as a bribe to stay silent about something or boys buying drinks for a staff member to do something outside of protocol. Mostly boys who were of, or near to the legal age allowing for its purchase.

Young people come into a programme with gambling addiction, alcohol addiction, substance addiction and more.  

We saw a viral video on Facebook which caused a huge outcry by and youth care workers in South Africa. It showed a young mother sitting at what appeared to be an outdoor picnic. She was drinking from a bottle. It looked like a bottle of cider or one of those fruit-flavoured vodka drinks. She put the bottle to the mouth of an approximately four year old girl obviously her daughter. The mother cheered, laughed and clapped when the little one drank from it Then she opened and gave a full bottle to the toddler as it's own. The child drank. Again the mother cheered, laughed and clapped. 

The Facebook comments from child and youth care workers urged that the mother be identified and charged with abuse. No mention was made however of multi-disciplinary developmental intervention.

I have, in community, seen this very frequently .. such that in a drinking situation, young children put out their hands and cried for a guzzle or a full bottle...like it's a soda pop. It is very scary.

And worse. I have been told stories by  grandmothers of children brought into care, that the mother put brandy in the baby bottle to make it sleep. That, and in some instances welcanol (pinks) a drug popular in the 80's, This to bring about sleep especially when a  sex-worker uses her own home at night.

He was just eight and he had a substantial vocabulary of the names of pills and drinks.

Just a thought. All of this makes cigarette smoking seem rather trivial.

Once a year at year end, the Board of Management held it's end of year function. The idea was two-fold. They would meet staff  who they had not face to faced during the year, They would introduce themselves. Names would be put to faces They would say an end of year thankyou to child and youth care and other staff. 

The Board paid. The Chairperson gave an order for the purchase of the alcohol. There was never any skimping. The help yourself bar had everything...a full drinks bar. Snacks and glasses were bought out.

When the facility moved into a group home setting one of the houses had a large hall used by the previous owner as a caravan repair workshop. That year it was the Board's obvious choice of venue for the year-end function.

 It had to be explained that there would be children and young people in the house  - those who who had no holiday placements with parents or hosts. Secondly the house was a no alcohol , no smoking no drug area. It was not a good idea for the child and youth care workers ,other staff and Board members to be seen to break their own rules. I said it would be OK if there was no smoking and no alcohol.

Panic...a lot of tap-dancing, but we're adults arguments .

They found a training room in the main office building, said that it had to be cleared. "It's small but it will do. We'll have the function here. At least here we can smoke and have alcohol drinks from our bar"

 

COVID VACCINATIONS CONCERNS...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE IN SOUTH AFRICA.

 

I have some concerns an a whole pile of questions around the Covid 19 vaccination roll out in South Africa. as it affects Child and Youth Care.

 Mostly questions.

 On February 1st 2021, the President outlined the vaccine roll-out. First, Health Care Workers, then essential service workers, then the aged and persons with underlying conditions. Then the adults of the Nation. No mention of children at all. There is this so called scientific evidence that children are at low risk.

Firstly. Child and youth care workers are legally essential service providers. Never, never have I heard the President in all his now many addresses to the Nation, nor anyone in high authority mention child and youth care workers as essential service workers.

The question, then is, Are they to get priority vaccinations?    We have lost child and youth care workers to Covid 19 and the new variant.

 In social media I saw that some child and youth care workers are saying quite forcefully that as their constitutional right, they won't accept vaccination. I must say that I have adopted something of a 'wait and see'  approach to this. At my age I have some concerns about the after effects. We are assured in South Africa that the vaccination is effective and safe. So where are we? 

It's a consideration that child and youth care workers work in close proximity with young adults and children and then go home to their own families. That proximity is not easily controlled as, for example, in a school. They don't sit at desks. In the residential facilities, social distancing between child and child and child and child care worker is particularly difficult, if not well nigh impossible. I see child and youth care workers saying that it is a constant battle to have children wear a mask or keep some type of distancing. In my experience, child care facilities are most likely high risk spaces. Many children and young people go home or to hosts for weekends and holidays. Who knows what precautions are taken there?

And the children? Did the 'people tests' of the vaccine also include children? What were the results? Are they to be excluded altogether? At what age will a young person, then, be considered eligible for the  vaccination roll-out?  This raises the question of constitutional rights of children. Will or is there a constitutional or regulatory age at which a child or young person can refuse a vaccination or that the parent, guardian or custodian can do that? 

Again, are there, or is there to be a child friendly vaccine? On admission to a child and youth care facility, we had to have a clinic card which showed that children had up to date vaccinations against small-pox, diphtheria, polio and so on. With Covid 19 will we soon as child and youth care workers have to check for evidence of such a vaccination as well?

In South Africa there is continuous and vocal debate as to whether it is safe or right that teachers go back to school, even now. Child and youth care workers have not been so debated. Obviously because there can't be debate. Like health care workers there simply is no choice.  

From experience this isn't any fun and certainly not easy. An epidemic of chicken pox in the facility was, on a smaller scale a learning experience. In brief...cut-off, no entry by anybody , food delivered only to the gate and very very, controlled movement of child and youth care workers. Some shift workers had to find a spare bed. Now with a vaccine, at least for adults this could be easier.

Child and youth care practice changes in both community settings and others.We learnt from the Hiv-AIDS pandemic. As with precautionary measures and as with ARV's and now with the Covid vaccine, it meant programmes of family education with the children as the central focus. Programmes that dispel fears, enlighten about the vaccine.

 So what then, as child and youth care workers, we have our own fears of the vaccination? As I said, I saw such fears spoken out on social media?

When being trained as a Life-line counsellor and later being a Life-line trainer, we were always told. If they say " I'm going to...or, I'm not going to" and it has the potential of risk or harm to self or others, you say "Yes, it is a choice, but  let's together think about what can be the outcomes, the consequences of doing that, or not doing that."

 The most likely 'to do or won't do today will be to get vaccinated or not to be vaccinated..to go to school, or not to go to school?...  that is the question. For the family one exercise, for child and youth care workers another...and what if there is, or will be a vaccination for children?

 

WE NEED, WE WANT...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE IN SOUTH AFRICA

 

At one time or another all of this has been said in these blogs..It all needs to be said again. Time ticks on and very little has changed.

The drive toward child and youth care professionalisation has been long. My guess is that the start was sometime in the early 1980's when the first training materials reached workers then continued towards becoming basic, then a university degree in child and youth care work in about  the early 90's. It was provided at the then Technicon University of South Africa ( UNISA).

I hold a National Association of Child Care Workers ( NACCW) certificate of registration introduced as a meantime measure to safeguard against unethical practice. It is dated 1993 together with a code of ethics for child and youth care workers.

This was in anticipation of the day when there would be a Professional Board for Child and Youth Care Work (PBCYCW) as part of the then amended South African Council for Social Work Which became the South Africa Council for Social Service Professions (SACSSP).The first PBCYCW sat in 2005 but the regulations for registration were gazetted only in 2013.!! Why the delays???

 I was given the task for the PBCYCW of presenting the regulations for registration to child and youth care workers in a national outreach programme. The enthusiasm and recognition for the need to register was demonstrated by the huge numbers of child and youth care workers who crowded the venues  in the Provinces to collect forms for registration.

With the registration of child and youth care workers came the expectation that there would be considerable advance in the status, availability of university degrees, salaries, recognition

Let's start with the last first.

 Well before registration  Masud Hoghughi trained South African organisations in the Problem Profile Approach ( PPA). Never will I  forget. He asked the question "How do you treat the children?" The answers came back in a long list. Given a voice, heard, listened to, with dignity, non-judgementally, developmentally, with respect, advocated for. Then he asked the question "How do you want to be treated?" When it came back...it was the same list. 

"You see," he said " what's good for the goose is good for the gander".

Implications - - management, other social service professions, employers and higher authorities should treat child and youth care workers as they expect child and youth care workers to treat the children.

 What child and youth care workers want is for this to happen. Especially after so many years of being regarded as a support worker, nanny, housefather, housemother, 

I have concluded that what child and youth care worker . want is more than this...it's what child and youth care workers and the field of Child and Youth Care NEED. 

Child and youth care workers, registered as professionals, constantly complain that the profession and their work is not recognised, And now with knowledge, skill and professionalisation. they are still treated like support workers. Some say that they are given domestic duties, driving and what I call "counting underpants". 

For all those years now, child and youth care workers themselves, the PBCYCW, the Council, the NACCW and others in higher authority have been informing and advocating to the authorities that child and youth care workers are in need of formal, administrative recognition as professionals and so given equal status and recognition as other social service professionals with the same qualifications and experience.  There is advocacy happening and advocates. It's a pity, I think that we don't always get to hear about what was said and done. The response is invariably that this is heard and that it is ongoing work in progress

But as I said "time ticks by". The effect of all this is reported as not  experienced by child and  youth care workers in the workplace. Despite the public service strike some years ago when social service professionals delivered 13 demands to higher authority. These demands included better conditions and salaries and equality of status for child and youth care workers. Despite the undertaking by the then Minister that by the end of that October month the demands would be met, in real terms for child and youth care workers...nothing, they say, has changed.

Child and youth care workers say that they need to be heard, to be listened to, that what is good for the goose is good for the gander, appears to be an unfulfilled need. It has to do  with need for esteem and for self-actualisation. When needs are not met.?.. well.. ask Maslow.

Availability of University education grew at first, then shrunk. Distance learning through UNISA was a huge step in the right direction for the field of Child and Youth Care. Then quite suddenly, it didn't accept an intake and removed child and youth care from the list of courses offered. This left, country wide, a good number of child and youth care workers trapped.at  the diploma level. In terms of the SACSSP registration regulations, their level of education permits them to register only at the auxiliary level unless they submit a Portfolio of Evidence (PoE) showing competence at the degree level

Just before registration regulations were signed and published in a Government Gazette in 2013, the then Minister of Social Development injected a significant boost into the Child and Youth Care field and practice in South Africa. Her Department of Social Development on her initiative and leadership  .  funded 10,000 child and youth care workers to be trained as. learners at the Auxiliary level and to be deployed throughout South Africa in the community -based Child and Youth Care model known as ISIBINDI. It rolled out very well. Targets were largely met. Learners received two years training while they practiced. Stipends were given to the learners...Ideal !

The Child and Youth Care service reached village and rural areas where it was needed and otherwise not available.

 I remember at the launch of the project in one of the Provinces, a state official said to the learners and leaders that, in that Province, the budget had been approved and available for the stipends. There were to be graduates at the end of that year. I asked for the budget for those who would then be qualified....silence. 

 And so, will you believe it? That situation has continued for many, child and youth care workers. Graduated at the auxiliary level but still paid the learners stipend. (and sometimes not paid for long periods).

 At a fairly recent meeting with the Department of Social Development, I was told that salaries (as opposed to stipends), can only be paid to persons appointed to posts and that posts have not been created or approved. There were times when, in any case, posts in the state service had been frozen. The procedures and protocols for the establishment of posts is a very long complicated process. they said.

The wants of child and youth care workers? The needs of child and youth care workers? 

Remember, it's quite a long list ; status, recognition, a voice, heard, dignity, development, respect University access, equality, salaries.

Remember. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

. 

HEAR THE LONGING...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE IN SOUTH AFRICA

 

It was a Conference presentation. A residential facility for girls had clearly briefed about 4 adolescent girls to present the, facility and its programme in a very positive light. "It's nice here, we are well cared for with clothing food and child and youth care workers who look after us", and more and more...

 The coaching, for me, was far too obvious.

I was told later, "You never do that". Unfortunately, too late. I had. Come question time my question was, "Girls, If I had a magic wand and gave you one wish to come true, what will it be?"

The team leader replied, "to be with my family as a happy family". She then broke down and wept. Then the rest of the girls cried also. 

This wasn't that unexpected. I had this before. Once in a facility, the middle class lifestyle is attractive, but as child and youth care workers, do we hear the real longing?

They were each given a piece of paper and pen. "Write down "What is CARE?" Boys and girls, all ages. Child and youth care workers wrote what the little ones wanted to say. The idea was to get a profile, a picture the children's view of care so that, if needed, policy and child and youth care work could adjust to meet their expectations of care - seen as their needs.

First, some little background. It was my professional view that at least 50% of the children and young people didn't really need to be there. The conscience solving the then so called issue of white poverty by filling up and funding Children's Homes was not ethical and quite deaf to the the children's real longings. It was further supported by Boards of Management which were keen to keep a steady predictable heads on beds monthly income by keeping the facility full. It encouraged long term stay.

 The environment was comfortable with excellent facilities, decor, meals and recreational facilities.

The children's response to the "What is CARE" question followed the Conference girl's presentation. It was defined in terms of the child as and youth care worker's, then, practice view. "You are cared for when they give you nice clothes to wear, nice duvet on my bed, nice food...especially pudding, sweets and ice-cream. They look after you when you are sick."

I'll stay", she said. "My little brother can go to my mother. I'll never get to college. If I stay, I will. I need to be with her and my brother but I'll stay".

But do you hear the longing?

In other contexts, I heard that called, parking off. 

Small built. A good looking youngster in care. His mother's situation eased' She said that she could look after him now. He can come to the room where she was staying. In my opinion it was a bit risky. What if the psychological and so the small financial situation should change again? 

"What if things change again?  You can choose. What if you and your mom have to live under bridges again? No TV, No new clothes, cardboard for a bed? " 

No hesitation "Ill be with Mom". 

'Twas like that Conference moment  The longing.

She only ever glimpsed her father once as he passed her and her mother when the bus he was driving passed them in that street. "That's your father", the mother said. Now knowing the bus company name for whom he worked, she set out to find him. It took three weeks and she went to an address given to her by some other driver. When she got there she was told that he had died in a vehicle crash. She grieved deeply. In her tears she sobbed, " I didn't even have time to call you Dad."  

There's a song I really love. It's called The Prayer of the Children. It is a call through the voices of children for peace, safety, and love in the world in which they are caught up, trapped in violence and war-like situations. A prayer also for the saving of their souls if they should die before they wake. Trapped in our world

Most moving. 

As at the Conference presentation, all too often the needs, the longing can be masked in an institution world. Then through the cracks,the light shines.

"Only you", she said "Only you. You and Social Welfare are keeping me from my mother. You and the Social Workers are keeping me prisoner."

Hear the longing. 

Do we hear the prayer of the children?