"My children have sorted out their old toys. We wanted them to learn how to give to the less fortunate".
There their children stood. Boxes in hand. Old, often worn and broken toys. '' This is for the poor children". they would say.
"I'm sure you can fix them," say the parents
The intention, I suppose is good. The reality longer term - I'm not sure.
With this kind of experience in mind, a newspaper journalist who wrote at Christmas referred to the children in care as "weggooi kinders" (throw-away children). It was an insulting, irresponsible choice of word to highlight abandonment and neglect...and to encourage people to give of their unwanted toys and children's clothing.
The children and youth in the facility picked it up. The children read what she wrote, as "she says we are garbage. We are throw-away children"
The delegation came to the office. They wanted action from the newspaper reporter, an apology and a firm agreement with the newspaper that nothing would be printed in the press without them. "Nothing about us, without us". Quite right!
Meanwhile broken toys and worn clothing streamed in.
What the children and youth wanted was NEW CLOTHES. It was predictable. Every year "Christmas clothes, chosen by us".
Miracles, I always would say, happen in the helping profession - especially for children. The Board of Management made it their annual project. Child and youth care workers accompanied children and young people to the clothing retail shops. It was a memory making event. Some of the young people in care at the time, now 45 to 50 something years old still remember.
For some reason there appeared to be a certain leniency at Christmas in the granting of leave of absence. Was it in some cases sentiment over professionality on the part of the Department of Welfare? "Families must be together at Christmas." And if it wasn't direct family, hosts abounded. "We would like to have an orphan with us at Christmas.'
Then came the many happy returns. "Please come and get me. Things are bad here".
'Twas so. Weddings funerals and Christmas, alcohol flows freely. It starts out OK. Then family feuds often raise themselves all over again.
Christmas day then, was often a day of suprises.
The policy was that staff got away every second Christmas, Christmas "off". That included me. We took it in turns to host Christmas lunch for the left behinds and the otherwise unexpected number of many happy returns. who could have had to be fetched on Christmas day itself. The numbers game.
No wine on the table that year...and no turkey leftovers !!.
Oh, I forgot to tell you. Before the end of the fourth term, the Board of Management insisted that they join the children for a Christmas dinner. They wanted that the children should meet them and that they saw the children in the newly bought Christmas clothes. The children saw the faces of the gift givers. Thanks were the order of the occasion
At some point, Father Christmas arrived. Ho, Ho Ho. - bag full of wrapped presents for each child.
Every year at Christmas the motorbike boys in Johannesburg have what they call the Toy Run. They buy toys and bike en-masse to some place to hand them to poor children.
One year the chose St Goodenough for their handout. There was any amount of preparation needed for this high profile event. St Goodenough had the responsibility of getting some other child and youth care facilities and programmes to come on that day, to provide catering and to accomodate 300 - 500 motorbikes 600 - 1000 counting riders and their pavilion passengers. Father Christmas would arrive in a helicopter landed on the soccer-fields.
First came the motorbikes and bikers. Hell's Angels, in fact all manner of Angels, Christian bikers and skinheads and whosoever more. Then the wrapped parcels were made into piles. Boy, Girls aged 4-13, boys ,girls 13 and over. They formed small mountains of wrapped gifts. Then came the helicopter. The bearded man in the red outfit appeared.
There was some semblance of order created with long queues of children and young people regulated by child and youth care workers to meet, one by one with Father Christmas and be given a present.
Things happened which disrupted the intended good order of the event. Many a child and young person stashed the gift away and joined the queue again. On leaving I saw children and young people carrying up to five presents in their arms. "It's for my cousins at home. They couldn't come",
There was the problem of the bread rolls filled with our traditional sausage (boerewors). The St Goodenough Old-Boys ran out. Had to out to buy more and all their money was stolen.
Then for the final blow. After the event the organisers came to see me. 'We will never come back here again. There were far too many black children getting presents!"
Christmas giving is never intended to do this. We all know. But in child and youth care work It seems to me to be a difficult balance, creating memorable Christmas moments, exampling the spirit of giving against the possibility, the risk, of a life-span world view. A risk of of learned dependency, the handout mentality and "I'm deprived, you must, you owe me".
I wonder?
I wonder also, has Christmas 2020, the Covid Christmas presented us with any lessons?
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