DAYS AND DATES...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE IN SOUTH AFRICA

"Today" she said, "At 3,00 o'clock I came into the Home. Uncle Benny said, "OK. now you're here, Sister Pat will show you where you sleep. Take your things upstairs".
"How did you feel?, asks I.
'Scared and relieved at the same time.

The surprise was that she remembered the exact date and time of her arrival. Later to find out that almost all of the young  people remembered the first contact, that moment, the date,the time and what was said. Like a birthday date..Amazing!

I don't remember the date of my graduation, wedding anniversary, ordination. It speaks loudly of the powerful impact of that moment in the life of a young person.

Friday afternoon, after school he was pushed into my office. "He took your son's track suit off the wash-line. He stashed it in the hedge next to the gate Huge expectation of an out-burst from me. The door closed.  "Oh, Oh, Looks like your in trouble. Looks like we have to talk.".

It was his sister's birthday that weekend. She would be three years old. "My mother don't have money to buy cold-drink and cake. I will sell the tracksuit and buy some Coke, cake and chips". 
'Why didn't you ask me?"
"You would have said "No". 
"I'll keep the tracksuit. Try now to ask me for Coke, cake and chips". 
Unused, unable to ask. "I want Coke, cake and chips I need it".
"I'll see what I can do".
 Consternation, general staff resistance bordering on outrage.

Too bad!

I gets to this. Dates and the events associated with dates matter to children and young people in programmes.

So what, we always do something for the young peoples birthdays".
Yep. Not good enough.

Same girl as the admission girl. "Today my father died in a car accident on the highway that goes to the Buffalo Bridge.  I know the exact place. I was in the Home. They 'photo tell me. I was sitting here in the foyer. I'll never forget. I just laughed and laughed. Is that what nervous laughter is?". 
"How do you feel now?"
"I couldn't help it. I laughed. I don't feel guilty" about that any more".
'Do you want me to take you to visit his grave today?". 

It got to me. The memorable moments, The red flag days, the days we, as child and youth care workers take as just another day are not just another day for the young people in the programme. Seems to me that our calendars should hold more than just the birth dates of the young people in care. Other than they, themselves, who else will remember, listen, respond, comfort.

We, in our programmes, can make days and dates that become  memorable moments in the lives of children and young people.

Something of an incomplete list.

Staff Birthdays. The young people, told when, planned and created a surprise special day for me. It was an event. A Coke, cake with candles and chips event. Treasured, hand-drawn birthday cards and letters, little speeches and birthday greetings. This was a memorable moment for me. But I know it was one of those "I remember" moments for them also."Mr Lodge, It's soon your birthday again" And so it should be for everyone. Birthdays are special.

So then, the facility/ programme's  birthday. To be part of history, to hear and make memorable moments has the effect of feeling part of something bigger than ourselves. Some kind of ritual is a memory maker. At the St Goodenough's 80th Birthday there were made and distributed memorabilia. Ties, scarves, lapel badges, t-shirts. A  moment memorably marked.

Spring Day. In South Africa there is a strange cultural happening with roots that have long been forgotten. As I remember it, in the early church on Spring Day maidens were sprinkled with perfume. What on Spring Day now, in the streets and so in the programmes, children and young people use buckets, bowls, whatever of water to slosh on the unwary. A kind of water battle develops, no harm. A memorable day, date. Can't wait for next year!

All our Public Holidays in South Africa are great opportunities for dates to be memorable days. Much and especially, Youth Day. And again, Heritage Day ... traditional dress, food, dance, poems in mother tongue. All planned and presented by the young people, often with explanatory narrative. Memorable day. Memorable date.

I enjoyed the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday (Shrove Tuesday). Didn't matter from where the children and
young people came in their faiths. Simply called Pancake Day. We had teams making pancakes. pancake tossing, running and tossing and of course eating with all kinds of fillings. The sweet ones were the most favourite 

Many dates and days.

Let's not forget the staff. Child and youth care worker's day and child and youth care worker's week  (coming up soon) 
Social Workers Day, Secretaries Day, Mothers Day, Mothering Sunday, Father's Day, and best of all Bosses Day!

The late Brian Gannon our South Africa child and youth care guru and pioneer, once instituted a year dedicated to making memorable moments and making memories with and for children and young people.

Days and dates, past and present, provide for us as child and  workers, huge opportunities to respect memories, to respond to them caringly, for stories to be told, feelings explored, but then, also, to create experiences that make memorable moments and memories for children and young people.