REHEARSAL...CHILD AND YOUTH CARE IN SOUTH AFRICA

It was one of those fairly frequent calls. Dusk and darkening. "Please come and fetch me"  My 'weekend off' had taken a typical turn.

Story was...(I don't know what led up to it)... Mother chased her out saying "Get out. Get back to the Home. ... You're a slut". Daughter's retaliation, "At least I can get it! You can't even get layed"...Deep hurt, pain and degradation. The big put down. 

Critical Incident. What now? The risk? No hope of reconciliation. Permanent no speak. Separation mother and daughter for ever!

What then? Time to breath, time to recover. Not to repress the anger and hurt. Just to gather the courage to, and the wish, to talk. Time to prepare for rationality and possibly the healing between mother and daughter.

In the mind of the child and youth care worker circle the words  " Restorative Justice, Role Play, Role Reversal,  Repetition, What-if?, Confrontation, Carefrontation." 

There will no doubt be some discussion on 'role' at this point. The 'who is to do what' discussion. In South Africa, apart from the child and youth care worker's required practice to be an equal professional member of the multi-disciplinary team (MTD), there is a move toward the Integrated Case Management  (ICM) approach. It means that case management itself is a shared responsibility. In any case, the child and youth care worker cannot but be included in the process that follows an incident like this. 

In the book A Child and Youth Care Approach to Working with Families edited by Thom Garfat (2004) a case is made  for child and youth care workers to have a particular role in the reclaiming of family . In the Introduction (p1) is quoted Carl Carstens ".....When the child comes into  care, the family comes with it. ...By such means reconstructive and recreational work becomes possible, the child does not stay away from her family any longer than is necessary, and there is ample time for her adjustment and follow-up". (italics mine) 

Following the MTD and ICM models, the child and youth care worker and the social worker will visit the mother in her home ...her life-space,.. for a life-space interview (LSI). Child and youth care workers are especially trained to conduct a LSI. It explores the moment by moment detail of the incident and explores possible ways forward. The social worker will explore  the family system and the broader social systems, their impact on life as it is for mother and so for the daughter. There may well be work to be done in the social macrocosm. Child and youth care workers tend to focus on the incident and seeks understanding of its effect on the mother and the daughter. Both work toward "What can and needs to be done now?" Hopefully, through something like the Bronfenbrenner Biocological Model of Development , or some other shared model will provide guidelines for tasks for holistic,    ecological , relational family reclaiming.

Ideally, an agreement is reached to hold a family meeting in the safety of a multi-disciplinary team, all of which is explained. A neutral venue may be chosen if needed.

 Back in the facility the child and youth care worker leads the LSI process with the young person.

Once both parties agree, there is a period of preparation, for what is hoped will be a process of carefrontation rather than confrontation. Carefrontation: "I care too much about you not to tell you that , when you ................... and want change to make it come right".  Carefrontation is, dare I say, ...'love.

This is where rehearsal comes in.

I'll focus on the child and youth care role with the young person. Support to the mother will be provided by the social worker.  The child and youth care worker encourages the young person to explain the  physical arrangement. Where it will happen, who will sit next to whom, who in the MTD supports whom. Then the child and youth care worker explains carefully the purpose of the family meeting and his/her role as the primary care worker.... the child and youth care worker. Things like advocacy, emotional support and if need be, with permission, the occasion to speak what the young person may ask to be said for her.

Now the real rehearsals begin.

"OK, let's pretend we are at the family meeting. Your mother is sitting there, you here and I next to you. Your mother speaks first.The chairperson will ask her to say what happened from the very start of everything until you said what you said and went to the neighbour's house. If mom find it difficult to say the social worker might help her or say it for her. 

 Now its your turn. You have already told me , but pretend you are at the family meeting. What will you say...tell your story, and let me hear."

 The young person relates the details of the incident. She may need help to get things in the right order or issues of time perception, and to express her feelings at each stage of the incident 

"OK< now mom will say what she would like to happen and what would have to change 

Now it's your turn. Say how would you would like things to be after the meeting and what has to change ... even things that you and your mom have to change. If you both want the same things that's good. If not, we will all talk more to try to find agreement.

Tell me, just like you will say to your mother, or to the meeting, what you are prepared to do to make change yourself . Are you prepared to say sorry for anything? Tell me what you will say?

 Oh, oh, it looks like some changes need to be made by you, and some by mom.. Now we will talk about who will do what, who will help who do what and set aims and set agreed times by which we will do them. It's called a FDP...Family Development Plan.

What do you think mom should do or be helped to happen?" Lets practice what you will say to her.

"Now what do you think your mother will say that you need to to be helped to change if it is needed?

The meeting should reach an agreement. It will be written down and we will all agree what each one of us will do and by when.

Now let's go through this again... I'll play to be mom " (role play).

Rehearsals are repeated again before the actual meet. Sometimes child and youth care workers put in a few surprises to deal with the " what-ifs" The young person is rehearsed until we all feel comfortable and reasonably confident.

A family meeting is not the only moment in the child and youth care programme and in our work with children and young people. Rehearsal may be needed in many, many more situations in our work. It is part of our professional practice as child and youth care workers.

Rehearsal is supportive, confidence building and relational. 

Rehearsal is part of what we do.