MAKING MEANINGFUL MOMENTS.....CHILD AND YOUTH CARE IN SOUTH AFRICA

Every Christmas the entry doors to the lounge were locked. No matter what time was waking up time......and Christmas was predictably an early morning. No access to the presents under the tree. Entry was denied until gran (Gogo) and grandpa (Pa) arrived. The lounge door opening was a ceremony of great show. We entered in order. Children first, then parents, then grandparents. The Christmas tree lights blinked away. For all the pent-up excitement, the garden bound wait, it was a life-time memory maker. Unforgotten.

One year, the National Association of Child and Youth Care workers (NACCW) dedicated a full year to the theme "making memories" in its Journal The Child and Youth Care Worker. Such is the importance of making meaningful moments in the practice of child and youth care.

I'm not sure if the Christmas locked door ceremony was a ritual which became a rite, or just an event. It was certainly more than just an activity. I believe it became a ritual.

We do, however distinguish among these in our child and youth care programmes. We plan. We design each. 

If it was a mandatory ceremony marking a passage from one life status to another, it would have been a rite. I remember well the various rites of passage we designed and instituted as a facility and as child and youth care workers.

Life passage moments deserve a rite. It is a memory making moment. It connects us to our culture and to one another. For us, as adults: baptism, becoming of age, marriage, graduation, various inaugurations, ordination and death. With the children and young people in care: admission (welcoming engagement), birthdays, entering manhood or womanhood , return from leave of absence or absconding, death of a child in care, passing matric, moving from  one unit to another, leaving the programme. Rites are not to be confused with organisational procedures such orientation, or education on rights. 

We have to design rites.

I have a leaning toward the use of candles ( perhaps because of my involvement in the church) and towards designing rites in which young people and children sit in a circle. A centrally placed set of symbolic objects speak of the occasion.  Most frequently we used candles and chocolates in a bowl . The outer circle of young people were given candles, cards, or a small nicely bound journal type booklet in which to write messages and to give as a memory box  keepsake.  (the child's memory box is designed as a place to collect and retain keepsakes of memorable moments) and a final gift. 

So, for example, if a child was leaving the programme or facility, (disengagement). A bowl of sweets and a lit candle in the centre of the circle of seated young people. An especially decorated chair for the leaving youngster who sits with a lit candle at the feet and his/her memory box on the lap. One after the other each young person lit their candle from the the leaver's candle. When doing this, they told the leaver what good they had learnt from having known and spent time with that young person.....how that young person's presence enriched their life. They took a sweet from the central bowl and told the leaver their wish for his/her future. The lit candle is a symbol of the good I received. The sweet  a symbol of the good I leave you with. Cards or the journal booklet or anything else as the young people have thought of  was put in the memory box. The leaver then went round the circle and did the same. Then the leaving gift was presented. The group now place their lit candles behind their backs and the child and youth care worker explained that although they will no longer see the leaver, his/her memory light would still shine for each of us. They eat the sweets to take the memories inside of themselves. They go for a candlelight meal together. After which the candles were extinguished.

The candle ritual became a rite of passage,  somewhat  euro centric.....but a rite. It fitted the children and young people in the facility at that time.

To design, create, rites of passage in South Africa, the Africaness of who we are has to be ritualised.

To start thinking traditionally, I got advice from the mother of a traditional healer and a university lecturer in community social work well versed in traditional rites. Here are some of the suggestions and some of the must does. The dress codes of African people involved in rites must be adhered to. Traditional dress is strongly recommended. Some of the more relevant indigenous objects used ceremonially are: pots, mahewu (traditional drink), snuff, mphephu (an African styled incense),  Although the use of candles was regarded as OK. Gifting was important. ..a blanket, a stick, beadwork. Then the meal. It has to be a traditional meal and according to tribal custom. There is however some tribal commonality in meal, ritual and rite. I think that the young people themselves will be helpful when creating them.

Somehow, it seems, rites of passage in child and youth care practice are good experiences for young people in care programmes. They appear to be useful developmentally. The evidence in practice is that young people gain an experience of being recognised, valued, connected, unforgotten, held in esteem. Rites stroke the young person's self value.They create good life-time memories.

They make meaningful moments.