When "do good" ..... does harm.

She was the 'Spring Flower' Queen of beauty. She might just as well have been the '4x4 Wheel Drive' Queen or the 'Pineapple Queen' - - it makes little difference really. These beauty queens predictably say at the contest that in their reign they want to help children - especially the 'orphans'. To live out their promises to the  judges, they have to  put some walk into the talk. They came routinely, looking for all the world like barbie dolls - black or white barbie dolls, to help the children.

Just before my time, the well intentioned Spring Flower Queen young beauty queen came. She said she could teach the girls how to apply facial make-up.

It was fashionable at the time to surround the eyes with black, giving the eyes a sunken look outlined with black around the entire perimeter of the eye -  like pee-holes in the snow. The rest of the face was then given what looked rather like stage make-up - exaggerated, heightened, lightened and coloured. It was called 'attitude'.

The girls loved it. So they applied it to each other. They practised on the little girls too.

 We had a Children's Home of girls from 5 - 20, parading around in the afternoons after school .... even in their swimming costumes at the pool, in full glamour gunge.

 The intention was good. The results were disastrous.

The program became highly sensitive to the possible learning and experiential outcomes of people from the community wanting to help the children in all manner of ways. We called the them... 'do gooders'. People who, with every good intention, develop in children, more harm than good... in the immediate or in the longer term.

Many 'do gooders' sound convincing and enticing and have to be very carefully thought through before being allowed loose on the children or to have their projects included in the programme.

One such group are the people who say " life has been good to me. I have made a lot of money and it is time that I give something back. They want to take one or two children into their homes to allow the children to experience for a day or two, or every now and then, something of their lifestyle.

One child, now an adult who had this experience said, " Someone should have told me that you have to work bloody hard to get a fridge or a stove. Life doesn't just deliver them to your door as a package"

Companies with a 'Social Outreach" policy, or what used to be called 'Social Conscience" can, with every good intention, do long term harm. They will put out that what they want to do is to help the children - free meals, free clothing , free funfair, free circus, free vieo loan over the weekends, free admission , free. free, free.

If life has dealt you a series of hurtful blows... almost everything comes handed out free. This expectation built repetitiously into a life/world view can encourage ' learnt dependency'

 Then comes the sting at the end of the corporate tail. - publicity photographs. Not only do you get it free, but you get your photograph taken too. - shaking hands with the big boss.

Or, even better - hugged by the Spring Flower Beauty Queen.