When "do good" ..... does harm.

She was the 'Spring Flower' Queen of beauty. She might just as well have been the '4x4 Wheel Drive' Queen or the 'Pineapple Queen' - - it makes little difference really. These beauty queens predictably say at the contest that in their reign they want to help children - especially the 'orphans'. To live out their promises to the  judges, they have to  put some walk into the talk. They came routinely, looking for all the world like barbie dolls - black or white barbie dolls, to help the children.

Just before my time, the well intentioned Spring Flower Queen young beauty queen came. She said she could teach the girls how to apply facial make-up.

It was fashionable at the time to surround the eyes with black, giving the eyes a sunken look outlined with black around the entire perimeter of the eye -  like pee-holes in the snow. The rest of the face was then given what looked rather like stage make-up - exaggerated, heightened, lightened and coloured. It was called 'attitude'.

The girls loved it. So they applied it to each other. They practised on the little girls too.

 We had a Children's Home of girls from 5 - 20, parading around in the afternoons after school .... even in their swimming costumes at the pool, in full glamour gunge.

 The intention was good. The results were disastrous.

The program became highly sensitive to the possible learning and experiential outcomes of people from the community wanting to help the children in all manner of ways. We called the them... 'do gooders'. People who, with every good intention, develop in children, more harm than good... in the immediate or in the longer term.

Many 'do gooders' sound convincing and enticing and have to be very carefully thought through before being allowed loose on the children or to have their projects included in the programme.

One such group are the people who say " life has been good to me. I have made a lot of money and it is time that I give something back. They want to take one or two children into their homes to allow the children to experience for a day or two, or every now and then, something of their lifestyle.

One child, now an adult who had this experience said, " Someone should have told me that you have to work bloody hard to get a fridge or a stove. Life doesn't just deliver them to your door as a package"

Companies with a 'Social Outreach" policy, or what used to be called 'Social Conscience" can, with every good intention, do long term harm. They will put out that what they want to do is to help the children - free meals, free clothing , free funfair, free circus, free vieo loan over the weekends, free admission , free. free, free.

If life has dealt you a series of hurtful blows... almost everything comes handed out free. This expectation built repetitiously into a life/world view can encourage ' learnt dependency'

 Then comes the sting at the end of the corporate tail. - publicity photographs. Not only do you get it free, but you get your photograph taken too. - shaking hands with the big boss.

Or, even better - hugged by the Spring Flower Beauty Queen.

Chicken heads and feet.... food for thought.

It was a camp at the coastal campsite in Kwa-Zulu Natal. The young people were divided into groups, each with a child care worker as a group leaded. A group of senior boys was allocated to me.

 In the programme was an exercise in which each group was given a specific sum of money in cash. They were to buy the ingredients  they could afford from this and cook a full evening meal for the group.

A small team of selected people then judged the meal on the basis of appearance, suitability ,taste and the effectiveness of the way in which the budget was used. My group had money left over.

 The group decided on a dish made of chicken feet and heads  - -it was economical, culturally appropriate and tasty they said. I was to sit with my group for this meal and eat with them.

A question often asked of me is whether I eat "African" food. My response is always the same...  "yes".

The big test is usually posed in the next question...."do you eat Mopane worms"? (a type of tree grub). These I have enjoyed - especially when properly prepared. Unclean tripe - the same.  I of course knew about "walkers and talkers", heads and feet, but had not yet ventured into the dish. This was a first for me, and I HAD to support my group of boys...... "hooters and scooters".....  here goes !!!.

My group won

This, again, was an experience of learning cultural competence for me, as an adult, culturally long separated from my African brothers and sisters because of the realities of living in an Apartheid South Africa. And although Nelson Mandela on his release from incarceration said, " never again", many of us are left, even now, with the effects of cultural separation. This must not be allowed to happen to our children and young people today. In multi-cultural programs, and especially in residential programs we are ideally positioned to create opportunities for cultural learning and the development of cultural competence. Food is the least of our problems really, but it in our programs it still creeps in to colour long standing stereotypes and prejudices.

Whenever this question was asked of children and young people in residential treatment, the answer was always the same....

The question?  " Apart from missing your family, what do you miss most about being separated from home?."

The answer.  " My mothers cooking - she makes the best...............(whatever)

Participation appears to be something of a buzzword right now and in a multi-cultural setting in Africa, real participation seems to me to pose particular cultural competence learning adjustments and acceptances.

But let's focus now only on food ....and I'm not talking of Mopane worms on Heritage Day.

"Did your mother teach you how to cook that? Can your mother come in and show us how to do that.... prepare our meal? Can we sit down together and plan a the month's menu together... we can call it a "rainbow menu for "rainbow people". Can our central kitchen with its kitchen supervisor be part of this planning and talking together about food with the children. Are children or a parent going to be allowed into the kitchen anyway? Can we accommodate to having real child and family participation in what is prepared and eaten?"

hmmmmmm .... food for thought.

But the hot water tap is ALWAYS on the RIGHT !!

Working in the bathroom yesterday a true story came to me.

A woman 'phoned a plumber and asked him to come to her house because the hot water tap and piping had to be repositioned .It was on the left where the cold water tap should be and incorrectly marked. The plumber asked her why, to which she responded that she had newly acquired the house. The tap on the left was running hot water but was marked correctly  'cold'. The tap on the right was running cold water and was correctly marked "hot".

The plumber told the woman " You don't need me madam. You don't have to go to the huge expense and the inconvenience of changing the plumbing. Just carefully clip out the little red and blue discs on the top of the taps and exchange them."

The woman flatly refused.

" Why not?" asked the plumber.

"Because", she said, " Hot water taps are always on the right hand side , The plumbing must be the way it always is."

The story was a reminder of a hundred similar incidents experienced in children's programs.......lots of time , money and effort put into keeping things that way because that is the way it always is, when a tiny change will more effective.

There was a program which prided itself on its' in-house tuck shop. It was run as a business by the program, within the program as the delegated responsibility of a senior child care worker. Apart from the valuable child care time spent on this, there was effort, energy and often heart-ache and anger when the young people broke into it and stole the sweets.But it went on. Right across the road from the programme facility was a friendly little store which stocked the same range of sweets, a little more expensive, but then that's what children would normally have to pay. It is "normal" for children to shop in a community located shop, but long standing program interested objectives made the tuck shop "right". It was always like that.

It was really hard for everyone, even the children, to 'switch the tabs'.

There have been many such "always on the right" situations that had to be faced ...

small shifts.......... Big advantages .......huge problem.

Can you think of examples in your programs?

Superstition? ..... NO " It is true " said J

" You must listen to Zodwa, she can 'see',  I think she will be a diviner in 4 years. But she makes a mistake. When she 'sees' she goes and tells tells the person. She must not do that. She must just keep quiet"..... It was "J", She knows Zodwa well. This all came about because I told her what Zodwa had said to me.

" Mr B", she had said, " see that butterfly there, near you, on the wall in the house?In my culture that is your late wife. She is visiting you. - Have I given you pain telling you that?"
" No" I said.

  " Yes. It is true"   said J. "What did the butterfly do?"

I told her." It was settled on the wall near me but later it moved into the lounge and settled there too."

"She was looking around" said J. "Sometimes it might be a bird" she said.

For Sbongile it was a bee.

" My grandmother visits me. Always she is a bee." he told me.

If I am going on a journey in my car, then there can be this bee in the car. If I gently lift it and put it out on the pavement on the side of the car and drive to Durban, then when I stop to get out in Durban, on the pavement there will be a bee. It's my grandmother. She is protecting me"

This was Sbongile's third story. The first was about a mole. The second about his transporting of his late mother as an ancestor from Kwa-Zulu Natal to Johannesburg, and now the bee. The mole had to be avoided desperately and diverted away from the house to avoid misfortune. The bee had to be protected. The one was misfortune. The other protection.

I can hear 'Superstition!, Superstition!" You may want to call it all superstition, half belief, unbiblical, irrational. But we are partly irrational. Some of our best achievements in Science, Philosophy , Religion and relationships have come out of irrationality> Even the word 'superstition' tells us of its' power for us. 'super' means 'above', 'state' means 'to stand'. It stands above or over us. But we are not talking about superstition.I  cannot walk under a ladder as it will bring me misfortune, but if I do then I'm not all that worried - it is a half belief.

But J said "It is true".

There is a true story told of a woman in a psychiatric hospital who refused to eat. All the experienced psychiatrists did all they could to but she wouldn't touch the food they brought her. I desperation they told a junior psychiatrist to see what he could do. Whe he saw the woman he said " I understand that you refuse the food". She said " Yes, they are trying to kill me.. They put poison in the food."

"It is true" he said " They are trying to kill you. But they are trying to starve you to death!".

The woman immediately started eating again.

It's simple really. We all know that what what we believe is what we hold to be true. Its not a superstition.. it is true.... just as J says.

That young psychiatrist walked in his patients shoes for just one moment. He looked at the world through her eyes and experienced her truth. He found her meaning for one moment and he was able to help her from there.

 There is a lesson in this for us in as child care workers in Africa.

 If the young people say say it's witchcraft, it is true. The portent is experienced and it does come true.  I perform the rite and my fortune changes.  My wife visited me. My grandmother protects me.

  It is all true.

We all know that the only practical, effective intervention for a child or young person is the intervention that is experienced by that child to be meaningful from the world view of that child. SO, in South Africa we have to step right into the African world, African experience, African spirituality, African meaning because therein lives the truth.. Only then can we be really helpful to to our children, young people and their families. It is the African way.

" Yes, it is true" said J.

A snippet.... just for fun.

Dormitories and bedrooms were often seriously littered all over floors with scattered clothing . Some clean and just left. Some in need of laundry. The children were told that the clothing on the floor did not allow the child care worker and the cleaner to do their work properly. If it was not tidied up to allow the adults to do their work, then it would have to be cleared by them. What they would do is to put the clothing into large plastic garbage bags and put them in the store-room. The bags would then be made available in preparation for the laundry in about three days time. This became a regular procedure.

A child care worker commented to the children in the vehicle whilst driving the "school run". She said," I very nearly didn't do the school run this morning. I was sitting on the floor in the girls dormitory sorting laundry and forgot. I would have been left sitting there. Then what would you have  done?"

Little voice from the back., "Put you in a garbage bag and left you in the storeroom. "

What is good for the goose.........

Policies in children's programs are developed with every intention of fulfilling our obligation to meet the child's best interests. Usually policy goes further than that. It is drafted with the idea that the culture of the program will reflect a new society, an ideal society ... a new ideal world. It has to do with the concept "Think globally... act locally" We include in policy, such principles as, democracy, restorative justice, co-operation, non-competitiveness, negotiation, non-violence........

It has to be kept with absolute consistency.

The Treatment Centre (Children's Home) owned a 2acre campsite at the sea. It was used at most twice a year. So, inbetween times a local organisation took care of it to raise funds. They developed the site into a place where "Paintball" could be played. It is a war game in which individuals or teams use guns to shoot each other with paint-filled pellets, each representing a fatal wound. The team which reaches the opposing den.. wins.  In the times that the campsite was used by the children, the Paintball game was closed to the public. On one such camp, the local organisation offered the the children a game of paintball free of charge. I agreed thinking it will be fun and would help to fill the camp programme.

It was a child care worker who came to me.

" Do we allow weapons in the hands of the children?"
"No"
Are we a gunfree programme back at the Centre?"
"Yes"
" Why are you going to allow the children to play 'Paintball"?. It is a game of violence and weapons" she said.

The game was cancelled.

Masud Hoghughi had a saying... an organisational rule if you like... " What is good for the goose, is good for the gander." What is held as good for the children has to be held as good for the staff. He said that what is demanded of the children must equally be demanded of ourselves.

We were planning an end of year function. Staff and the members of the Board of Management. It was a token of thanks to the staff and a social get-together. The plan was, one evening, to use a large hall-like venue at one of the group homes. Most of the children would have been on holiday.

It was the same child care worker who approached me.
"Do we allow the children alcohol ?'
"No"
"Is the Board planning to have alcohol at the gathering in the group home hall ?"
"Yes"
Then why are we having a staff and Board gathering here with alcohol - what message does that give the children?"

The Board would not buy into an alcohol- free end of  year function. The venue was moved off -campus.

Child care workers said this... thoughts for talk 5

1.  " You cant change them.... a leopard can't change its' spots "

2. "He shouts and screams, gets aggressive and then sometimes breaks windows"
     ME " what do you do then?"
   "Oh, we've learnt to live with it. We've got used to it"

3. A general gathering of all staff and children were held to discuss children's rights.
    CHILD " Can a child care worker stop you from eating breakfast just because you come late to the table?"
    ME " No"
   CHILD CARE WORKER TO ME LATER  "Don't ever do that again!  Don't ever say to a child that what I              
    do is wrong!".

4. KITCHEN SUPERVISOR  with no rights to hire or fire dismisses a kitchen worker without using proper procedure in terms of labour practice. The grievance is made and the kitchen worker is re-instated. The Kitchen Supervisor goes off sick.
    CHILD CARE WORKER " If she dies it will be on your head !!"

5. " You pay me to be like a fireman. I do my own thing until there is a problem - THEN... I come out and deal with it.... THAT'S IT!! "

6. ME at a staff meeting with the new regulations attached to the Act." You may no longer hit the boys"
    THREE CHILD CARE WORKERS throwing the new regulations into the middle of the room, " We might as well resign now !!"

South African Child and Youth Care locked up? Pity!

A thought for talk in this blog-site raised a response on Face Book. It had to do with where child and youth care belongs - in Social Work or in Psychology.  She made it clear she believed it is a field of study, a discipline in its own right and should be in a Department of Child and Youth Care. When a School of Child and Youth Care was suggested, she liked the idea, saying "then we would be educated in our own vocabulary. We would be able to tell of the things we hear said to us every day".

"What we hear said to us every day" in South Africa and what we say and do when we hear it, suggests that there may well be a distinctly South African set of situations and a South African child care language, a South African vocabulary of experience and practice out there... in both our residential facilities and our community based settings

The Isibindi model  is a prime example of a unique South African approach to community based child and youth care work. But there is equally something unique about our Youth Centres and Treatment Centres . Unique models must surely be developing a richness of their own concepts, language and practice which can meld or should be melded into what we can call  distinctly "South African Child and Youth Care worthy of recording and study.... a contribution to the rest of the child care world.

We use African languages in our every day practice and that in itself must mean that there are concepts, nuances of meaning an focuses different from Europe and America.

One of the characteristics of a profession is that it has its own body of knowledge. It cannot be that our knowledge base, here in Africa, is limited by what we learn or get from Europe and North America. We do have a wealth of  knowledge here.

Good practice implies sound theory ( and visa versa ) Seems that we must even have unarticulated South African theories of child development and intervention underpinning our practice.

But where is this body of South African Child and Youth Care knowledge? Where are these theories?

Hidden in our practice? Locked away in what we hear, say and do every day?

Another characteristic of a profession is that it has its own body of literature. It means that if we are responding to to the African world view of the children in our care. If our children's inner and outer African experiences shape our individualised interventions in what can then only be a distinctly African way - then we have to hear about it.... the world has to hear about it.

Our South African stories, our South African knowledge has to be shared, researched, published.

Phobiaphobia......the fear of fear

There's a fascinating little book called  "The Paranoids Pocket Guide - hundreds of things you never knew you had to WORRY about. "Cameron Tuttle ( C.T.) 1997.

It's is one of those fun little books that sits on a coffee table and you dip in and out. It literally, in a fun lay-out, gives you hundreds of weird facts that get you thinking about what you could worry about if you wanted to:

" A hot steamy shower can be relaxing - unless the organism that causes Legionnaires Disease is growing inside the shower-head........all you have to do is to inhale the steam containing.. the bacteria" ( C.T. )

" You are four times more likely to get food poisoning from eating at a restuarant than eating at home"          ( C.T.)

..... and then all those phobias !
                                             scopophobia - fear of being naked
                                             parathenophobia - fear of young girls
                                             heortophobia - fear of holidays

Hmmmmmmm ... no wonder C.T. is a nervous wreck !!

One wonders what fears the children in our programs may live with.... fear of the dark,  fear of spiders... of course!.... fear of dolls?.... What else?

Dikeledi had a fear that the adults in her life would suddenly disappear....go away, and not come back. She left the door open when she went to the toilet. Her thinking was that she could keep watch on the child care worker to be sure that she didn't disappear while she was going to the toilet. She was persuaded to close it for the sake of privacy, but she insisted that it be kept ajar and that the child care worker stand in front of the door. She would ask from inside "Are you there?" and waited for the reply " Yes Dikeledi".

Going to sleep was a problem. If she slept then she might wake up to find that all the adults have disappeared. She needed constant reassurance that child care workers would be there in the morning

Shift changes frightened her - a wide eyed fear when one left and another was on duty. A shift roster had to be visiably posted. Child care workers had to keep her well informed. "I'm going off now - I'll be back tomorrow at 2.00 "

Dikeledi's fear grew from the facts of her childhood pattern of experience. All the most important, significant. connected  people in her life just suddenly drop out of her world and disappear. This was the pattern before she came into care and unfortunately that pattern continued.... even with child care workers in the Children's Home (Treatment Centre). It was the way her world worked for sure.

Is there a name for this?... the fear of abandonment ?` We will have to ask C.T

It is frightening to think that we may be feeding children with the things that they never knew they had to worry about... setting up fears through what we say or do, or what happens organisationally:

"If we don't get a lot of money soon we will have to close this program at the end of next month.... see it's true, it is even in the newspaper."

'If you play with your willy it will drop off"

" Girls if you drink too much Coke it's not good for you.... caffeine can reduce your ability to have children" (adapted from C.T.)

"Heading a soccer ball frequently (ten times or more per game) causes mild neuropsychological damage and lowers IQ" (C.T.)

Are you a really hot dancer? Dance floor dehydration can kill you" (C.T)

Oh Oh ..... am I a C.T. child and youth care worker?















                                               

How do you know if God is calling you to CYCW?

How do you know God is calling you to child and youth care work?  Is it really a divine call.? Or could it be something else in YOU ?  How do you tell the difference?

" This isn't a Sunday School Picnic. Don't think that you are going to spend your time playing with children"

Ernie Nightingale was a pioneer in South African child and youth care. I went to him to tell him that I had a calling and that I needed to know what child and youth care really was all about.

" I cant tell you whats its like ," he said.  "You have to experience it to know....SO you HAVE TO TEST YOUR CALLING . If you get this wrong, you will be very gravely hurt."

Ernie didn't right away employ people who came to interview with this explanation for their wanting to do this work. He sent them home with a list of things they must do to test their calling first. He gave me a copy of his especially prepared document which set out the tests.

Based on Ernie's list and my own as an employer, these are some discernment exercises that may help:

1. Pray.. You don't  have to keep on asking the question (am I being called to child care?).  Most important is to LISTEN. Spend half an hour a day in quiet time listening. Preferably before you go to 2..

2. Read the scriptures ... not haphazardly, follow a reading programme of some sort . Do not do this thing of opening the Bible randomly and pointing at a verse. Although it does help from time to time to allow, through prayer, that you be led to a reading. This should support what you learn of the possibility of a calling and not substitute for the reading programme. When following the programme LISTEN as you read. If you are being called, your reading will start to shape into a message that may communicate your call and the conditions it should or will fill. Sometimes the message "comes out at you" from the reading... speaks to you louder and is no longer simply embedded in the print. You will know when this happens.

3. Journal......... write down your experiences and feelings that come to you during your prayer and reading times. Record what you think is being said to you. You will go over and over this later to help get a clearer discernment.

4. Go out and get some experience.. best to volunteer in a program. It is really the only way to experience what really happens and the impact that child and youth care work has on you as a person.

5.Accept "no" as an answer. However, usually you are directed toward some other call .

6. If after a fair period of discernment you still believe that you are called.....abandon yourself to His will.

7. There is scriptural evidence to say that if it is His will, it will work for you. If it is not, it will fail... do not be afraid. But don't use that as the only measure . The hurt is too big a risk to take just to test your calling and it does harm to the organisation and the children..

Sbongile's fortune turned.. his ancestor was pleased

Because traditional Africa trusts in the inherent good of worldly existence, destiny is linked to actions. Misfortune is not a matter of chance but associated with the ire of the ancestor spirits or the evils of witchcraft  Hiedi Holland in   African Magic........ Traditional ideas that heal a continent.     (p 8 ) Penguin Books 2005.

Numbers of parents of young people in Youth Centres (in detention awaiting trial) say that their son's situation brings them considerable pain. The unfortunate series of events in the life of their family and especially  the ill-fated events that led to their son now awaiting trial , they say, is a message for them from their ancestors.  The ancestors are making that message through their child. It is possible that some ancestral rites have not been performed or were not properly performed. Something needs to be put right.

Sbongile's move to Johannesburg was calculated to change his fortune after his  mother's death. He hoped to find work there. There was nothing in his village in Kwa-Zulu Natal, nor in the towns that surrounded it.

But life for Sbongile was not going at all well. In fact, since his move to Johannesburg  nothing seemed to be going right.

His search for work brought nothing but frustration. The car he had brought from Kwa-Zulu Natal and used for job seeking in the city broke down. He had no resources to have it fixed. Even his accommodation started to become a burden.

And then at night he started to experience dreams... especially of his mother. All the messages seemed to say to him that his ancestral mother had a need and he had to do something to meet it.

Heidi Holland (2005) confirms that what Sbongile experienced is usual in Africa. Displeased ancestor spirits, she says, usually reveal themselves in dreams. An offending descendant then consults a traditional healer, who prescribes immediate appeasement of the ancestor(s) though ritual ceremonies featuring heirlooms and sacrificial feasts. ( p9)


Sbongilie didn't have to go to a traditional healer, he was sufficiently  gifted with spiritual insight to know what was being asked of him. His mother wanted to be housed with him in Johannesburg. So, Sbongile made the arrangements to bring her from the village where she was buried and housed and to settle her in Johannesburg with him .

Everything had to be properly done. No detail could  be overlooked. He prepared a place for her at his Johannesburg accommodation

Then he travelled to gather her and bring her to Johannesburg.

Sbongile tells of how he carried her in the taxi with the branch of a tree ( some speak of taking sand from the grave) and how he spoke to her all the way back to his house. "We are crossing a river" "We are at Ladysmith"  "We are stopping for food". She was to be informed all the way.  And he settled her in the prepared place where he was living.

Sbongiles fortune turned. He got work, he felt better in his health. The money allowed his car to be fixed His life changed and he was set on his journey to become a child and youth care worker.

Ancestor spirits who normally protect the family can withdraw this protection if displeased or upset by a living member of the clan......they must be appeased.  says Heidi Holland ( p8 )

His ancestor was pleased.

There are boys in Youth Centres who know that their lives bring pain to the parent and suspect, or know they are being used by an ancestor as carrier of  misfortune on the family......and something needs to be put right. Equally they know that family dissension and quarrels are a sure way to excite the displeasure of the ancestors.    And again, something has to be done.


But what?  And if you are in a place awaiting trial.... how?.....  and when I explain my life to social workers and child care workers do I say any of this to them . Can it be written into my IDP (Individual Development Plan)  or the FDP ( Family Development Plan)?  Is this the kind of thing that can be written into a report or put in my file anyway?

Is there a place for this in "the system"./

Will I look 'primitive ' or foolish?











,



  

5 quick comments .....more thoughts for talk

1.  An executive for Nandos Chicken said " I'm really not all that interested in chicken, but I love "Management" and what I do as a Manager.
SO.... is it OK for us to say,  "I'm not all that interested in children, but I love child and youth care work and what I do as a professional child and youth care worker"??

2. ONCE HEARD ; " Parents who abuse the children that they have, should not be allowed to have more"

3. Child and youth care work has its origins in Social Work.... so that is where it belongs

4. Child and youth care work is really Applied Developmental Psychology, SO That is where it belongs... in Psychology

5. Child and youth care work is not respected because of our lack of qualifications


Hmmmmm.... What do you think?

Can children change the programme?

Dillon could not have been much more than 7years old. When he sat at the Boardroom table his head was just above table height. Why and how he was elected by the juniors to be a "junior representative" at "BRIDGE" became clear over time, but he seemed a strange choice at first. ... too young,  too small!.

"BRIDGE" was the Forum for the children and young people in the program. It was the link between our clients  (the children) and management,...  their (almost) direct link to the Board of Management . After all, the customer must be heard!!  Two child care workers were always present, as was the Director. The Chairperson ... a very specially selected member of the Board.  I thought would be ideal if the children represented themselves by sitting on the Board of Management itself, but it was far too early in the minds of  Board Members for that!  So, the children had this Board member to speak for them.

After all the general business , the senior representatives and the junior representatives were on the agenda. They had previously held meetings among themselves and now had a chance to speak for the children in care.

It was Dillon's turn.

This little voice, just above the table said  " Why can the girls bath and the boys can only shower?"

There was a noticeable stiffening in the bodies of the Chairperson Board member, the Director and the child care workers sitting at that table. It was difficult to think that in our program, boys don't ever get to bath.

I was the first to break the silence, using a typically defensive Director's tactic... " I didn't know that 'til now," and turning to the child care workers " Is it true?" "Why?"

" There is not enough hot water for the boys and the girls to bath" one said.

" But can't we work out a roster so that the boys get to have a bath?"

This was starting to become uncomfortable.

The Chairperson  correctly interrupted. " If there is not enough hot water, then let's get an expert opinion on how much hot water is needed for the number of children in the houses and if we have to.. we can get quotes on what it will cost us to install more geysers."

More geysers had to be installed in every house at a cost of about ZAR 11,000 per unit. In "those days" a lot of money.

And the whole system changed.

Dillan could not have been more than seven years old. When he sat at the Boardroom table, his head was just above table height.