Hettie, Nomvula and social ethics

" It's like this. Everything to be decided about your life is discussed at a 'family Conference'. You and the whole family get together and we all make plans together. Sometimes, other important people in your life , like in your community can be there also.. Also if there is a problem,say  you get yourself into some trouble, then that is what will happen.

Two 14 year old girls were in this conversation - a standard procedure of orientation to set out our program method. There was Hettie, a White Afrikaans speaking adolescent and Nomvula, a Black African teen.

"It's OK" said Nomvula.

" I would rather DIE !" Said Hettie.

"Why ? If there's a problem then your mother needs to know and the family can all help to sort it out together with you."

"We don't do it like that in our family", said Hettie. "If there is a problem we keep it to US". If I get into trouble I don't even want my mother to know. OK, if she has to know  , she'll kill me. But nobody else. What is a secret is a secret in our family.... we always sort it out ourselves. I won't come to any - what did you say? Family thing,.... family conference".

It was this conversation that got us all thinking again. Could it be that this child care procedure, a scheduled routine in our process, was not as ideal as we had thought it to be? What fitted Nomvule was terrifying for Hettie.

Benezet Bujo in his book The Ethical Dimensions of Community (Paulines 1990) says:
                  " The cultural problem is of paramount importance to every human being. If a person's culture is not taken seriously, one cannot respect human dignity, since the individual's identity cannot be realised  outside of this field. Hence ignoring a people's culture may well be the first violation of human rights. In social ethics one should count as new forms of property not only the ' possession of knowledge technique and know how'  but also the culture as root of the whole" (p 142 )

He also talks of the "multiplicity of human rights"(p 156)

If we listen to Bujo, then the cultural roots of Nomvula and of Hettie is their property, to be respected and protected even to the extent of us having to create diverse organisational methodologies for them in our programs.

Especially in Africa, says Bujo, because in Africa it will be a violation of rights to ignore the dead. Their struggle for the social well-being of their offspring must not be in vain (p155)


Somehow, it seems, Hettie's cultural right to privacy and individualisation in problem solving needs to be accomodated in our procedures, and then equally does Nomvula's cultural right to somehow involve community and if it is culturally important to the family,to include her ancestors in family problem solving.

We do speak of diversity and we do uphold rights we say.

Are we socially ethical

I wonder?




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"God called me to child care"

Very often in interviewing someone for a position in child and youth care work the reason given for making the application and wanting to be a child and youth care worker is " God called me to do this," Many already in the profession say " God called me." I say this too." I was called."

In South Africa we have a long history of having  agencies and programs for children, largely orphanages,     which originated as "welfare" projects in churches, denominations and faith based organisations generally. Many have  managed to stay the course of time and history. Some of course closed, yet others spring up as 'houses" of  care for children all over the country. Attitudes toward the requirements for employment can range considerably.Some of the church- based facilities will employ only from their own communities and insist on a divine calling and that the doctrinal beliefs of the child care worker are consistent with that of the sponsoring church. Some employ more generally but insist on the worker being a "Christian" and have a calling to do the work. The employer who does this frequently says that the Christian "called" people stay when the going gets tough, whilst others tend to leave Whether any of this would stand up to the scrutiny of the South African Constitution I have sometimes wondered. The idea that child and youth care is a "calling", a "ministry" or a "vocation" is somewhere deep rooted in our history and professionalisation in some many instances is viewed with suspicion. ... It has in many cases to do with a fear that the knowledge base will or is not consistent with doctrinal belief, or has to be secular, or that the worker will have to be payed more. Comments I have heard have ranged from "Here, we pray them good"  to ...'Their lives wont change unless they accept........................."..

I have seen children beaten to remove their demons.

AND SO


There are employers who view the statement "God called me" with great suspicion.

I certainly was not appointed to a large international child care agency when I said at interview that the agency met with all the requirements that God had asked me to pursue in the calling He had placed on me. One of the interview panel members said " You can just ask your present agency to move into those directions... you don't have to come here !!" In the training I received once, an American -based organisation,in the writing of a CV, trained us not to mention in your CV anything to do with 'God", "Church", and certainly not to say that you are in any way called or guided by the Divine. They said that you stand the chance of being eliminated before interview.... then , they said, don't mention it at all at interview. Employers in the field they said, just don't want God ,or one's personal religious beliefs brought into the mix.

It seems that there is space for talk in child and youth care on the issues of "God called me", " it is ",God's ministry". "my vocation", " I do it for Him "  AND the concept of child and youth care as a "profession". Are these two concepts oppositional,... parallel ?.... Can they be merged?

WHAT DO YOU THINK ?

Are they really .."into" us ?

There was one of those "10 Ways to Know" links on the M-Web home page and for some whimsical reason I clicked the link for, "10 ways to know if she is really 'into' you."

Some of these were:

1. She responds to your text messages immediately.

2. She leans forward when you speak because she is really interested in what you have to say

3. She shares with you

4. She frequently makes enquiries of you, just to find out where you are and how you are doing.

5. She keeps you informed of her daily status

I wondered whether these could be used as measures also of whether authorities, politicians, policy makers and others are "really into " us as  the profession of child and youth care.

SO...... here goes !!

1. How long do we wait as a profession to get responses to our letters of correspondence or enquiries. Do they respond immediately, or are our letters and issues put on the 'back burner' giving us the impression that they have more important issues to deal with?

2. When we speak as a profession, are we heard with interest. Do the authorities show an interest in what we have to say by 'leaning forward' to take it in?

3. Are we fed, nurtured and cared for by authorities and other professions?

4. Are we asked as a profession with interest about how we are getting along in our journey toward recognition. - like.... " How are you getting along  with the universities offering your degree?" And are we offered help?

5. Are we constantly and immediately given feedback and kept informed on how the process of our recognition and issues are unfolding?


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.. I wonder

Are they really "into" us????????????








 

Sbongile's mole - protecting children and metal sheeting

Sbongile was at work as a child and youth care worker on day shift in a residential facility when he got the telephone call. It was his wife. She was anxious and a little afraid. A mole she said , underground, had made a mole hill a distance from the house. She and the children were watching the mole at work from the bedroom window. All of them standing in the house, looking out. This mole was busy burrowing . They could see the direction it was moving by a mound that it raised like a pathway under the soft soil . It seemed to be heading toward the house and to the very bedroom  where they were standing. She was afraid and didn't know what to do.

Sbongile understood immediately. He knew the mole was a carrier of mis-fortune and if it burrowed itself under his house then ill-luck or even disaster could could be brought on his home and the family.

Being on shift with children in need of care and knowing that he wouldn't be able to explain the seriousness of his concern for his family to the white manager, he said that his wife must watch the mole's pathway and progress. Maybe it will turn away and go in another direction.

But it didn't. It got closer.

Mom phoned Sbongile again. He must come home and do something NOW.


Sbongile told management that he had a serious family crisis without spelling out the details, and that he was needed at home urgently. To tell management the actual situation at home would never be regarded by management as reason to leave the children in his care for the sake of his own.

Sbongile sped home. Mom and his children were still there behind the glass of the bedroom window. The mole's pathway was .yes, heading directly toward the house and now was quite close

In the garage, Sbongile managed to find some metal sheeting. He dug them into the ground across a length of the house across the pathway of the mole, lowering the sheets to obstruct.the moles pathway.and protect his home.

It worked. The mole changed direction and headed away to the left.

Ill-fortune had been averted.

Sbongile cannot be alone...... and for others it won't be a mole that is the carrier of misfortune. Who knows what it may be for the children and young people in our care in Africa?

 It seems a great pity if child and youth care workers but especially the young people  have to make cover-stories to mask their real fears in order to avoid ridicule or loss of credibility .It seems that if we are to make meaningful interventions in the lives of children here we will have to have the courage to come out in the open unafraid of being African in Africa.

.... to find metal sheeting..... whatever that may be .... and whatever it may take

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Children said this... thoughts for talk 4

1. *accusingly* " Since you have been here, horses have died."
         ME  " Horses die you know"
         Child " Ya, but not before you came!"

2.   Adolescent,  after about 45 minutes of non-directive counselling :
        "  Hey, Mr Lodge..... your no bloody good !! "

3. Young person " I'm so bored. I need something to do, some work or something. If I get bored, I'm going to get drunk.......you don't want to see me drunk do you ? "

4.  Adolescent girl, walks into the swimming pool fully clothed in white Sunday dress which clings see- through to her body, then turns to me and says,
       " See, you can't take your eyes off me !!"

5. The Residential facility had what we called a "24 hour kitchen". It meant that there was a station in every dormitory that held a supply of tea, coffee, bread and peanut butter. This was available day and night.
*Adolescent boy caught creeping up the stairs to the girls floor in the dark at 1.00 in the morning*
       ME  "Sbongile what are you doing?"
       Sbongile,  " Our peanut butter is finished ! "
             




      

Mama's practical wisdom..... four parts of the same apple

Four children got separated through a family history not unusual in South Africa.

The first two children were of a father who disappeared during the pregnancy of the second born. Mother was forced to work in a place far from the village home. So the children were placed in the care of an ageing maternal granny.

In her workplace, far from home, Mother met another man and their relationship realised two more children. Because of the working and living situation these children were taken in by the paternal grandmother in another part of the country.Mom and father No2 separated. Mom got ill and died.

When granny no1 could no longer care for the children, they finished up into mama's  care in the village.

Through whatever circumstances Mam discovered that there were two more siblings in the family about which the children knew nothing. Arrangements were made to unite the children in Mama,s care.

Two unknown children from far off,arrived in Mama's home.

Mama was asked, " How are you going to introduce the idea to the children that they are all four related and belong to the same family?"

"Soon", she said, " I will sit all four children down with me. I will take an apple. I will cut the apple into four pieces in front of the children. Then I will give each child a piece to hold. Then I will ask them to pass me their piece one at a time.. I'll show them how the four pieces fit together to make one apple. Then I will tell them...... 'see .... the pieces were separated, but they belong together to make one whole. This is the way it is with you children."

" Like the apple you were separated, but see, now you fit together.  You belong together. You are all brothers and sisters of the same family."

You are like an apple together, from the same tree"