It was a Conference presentation. A residential facility for girls had clearly briefed about 4 adolescent girls to present the, facility and its programme in a very positive light. "It's nice here, we are well cared for with clothing food and child and youth care workers who look after us", and more and more...
The coaching, for me, was far too obvious.
I was told later, "You never do that". Unfortunately, too late. I had. Come question time my question was, "Girls, If I had a magic wand and gave you one wish to come true, what will it be?"
The team leader replied, "to be with my family as a happy family". She then broke down and wept. Then the rest of the girls cried also.
This wasn't that unexpected. I had this before. Once in a facility, the middle class lifestyle is attractive, but as child and youth care workers, do we hear the real longing?
They were each given a piece of paper and pen. "Write down "What is CARE?" Boys and girls, all ages. Child and youth care workers wrote what the little ones wanted to say. The idea was to get a profile, a picture the children's view of care so that, if needed, policy and child and youth care work could adjust to meet their expectations of care - seen as their needs.
First, some little background. It was my professional view that at least 50% of the children and young people didn't really need to be there. The conscience solving the then so called issue of white poverty by filling up and funding Children's Homes was not ethical and quite deaf to the the children's real longings. It was further supported by Boards of Management which were keen to keep a steady predictable heads on beds monthly income by keeping the facility full. It encouraged long term stay.
The environment was comfortable with excellent facilities, decor, meals and recreational facilities.
The children's response to the "What is CARE" question followed the Conference girl's presentation. It was defined in terms of the child as and youth care worker's, then, practice view. "You are cared for when they give you nice clothes to wear, nice duvet on my bed, nice food...especially pudding, sweets and ice-cream. They look after you when you are sick."
I'll stay", she said. "My little brother can go to my mother. I'll never get to college. If I stay, I will. I need to be with her and my brother but I'll stay".
But do you hear the longing?
In other contexts, I heard that called, parking off.
Small built. A good looking youngster in care. His mother's situation eased' She said that she could look after him now. He can come to the room where she was staying. In my opinion it was a bit risky. What if the psychological and so the small financial situation should change again?
"What if things change again? You can choose. What if you and your mom have to live under bridges again? No TV, No new clothes, cardboard for a bed? "
No hesitation "Ill be with Mom".
'Twas like that Conference moment The longing.
She only ever glimpsed her father once as he passed her and her mother when the bus he was driving passed them in that street. "That's your father", the mother said. Now knowing the bus company name for whom he worked, she set out to find him. It took three weeks and she went to an address given to her by some other driver. When she got there she was told that he had died in a vehicle crash. She grieved deeply. In her tears she sobbed, " I didn't even have time to call you Dad."
There's a song I really love. It's called The Prayer of the Children. It is a call through the voices of children for peace, safety, and love in the world in which they are caught up, trapped in violence and war-like situations. A prayer also for the saving of their souls if they should die before they wake. Trapped in our world
Most moving.
As at the Conference presentation, all too often the needs, the longing can be masked in an institution world. Then through the cracks,the light shines.
"Only you", she said "Only you. You and Social Welfare are keeping me from my mother. You and the Social Workers are keeping me prisoner."
Hear the longing.
Do we hear the prayer of the children?
No comments:
Post a Comment