The child shall enjoy special protection, and shall be given opportunities and facilities by law and by other means to enable him to develop physically, morally, spiritually and socially in a healthy and normal manner and in conditions of freedom and dignity. In the enactment of laws for this purpose the best interest of the child will be the paramount consideration. UN 1959 Declaration of the Rights of the Child, Principle 2.
In a 'Kindersentrum' (a Children's Centre) in Cologne Germany, on a stair landing there were two murals. Both were done as a project by the 'drop in' children On the one side of the entrance the mural depicted 'The Adult-centred City'. On the other, 'The Child-centred City'. The differences were extreme.
The 'Adult-centred City' was clearly a place where money ruled city design. Crammed, grey, dull, filled with places of industry and commerce, boxy looking living spaces, streets filled with cars, buses, taxis and trains. And people, people, people - packed and in a hurry.
The 'Child-centred City' was spread widely. Lots of open spaces right in the city centre Trees, grass flowers, amusements parks and colourful places to be. Expansive schools. Walkways . A city clear of major traffic. Friendly small industries on the outer boundaries.
It was fun, It was a statement, through the eyes of the children of adults blindness to the children's world, their needs and lives, right in the heart of laws, by-laws and local management, traffic control, provision. It was a practical example of the U.N Rights of Children in operation.
The South African Constitution has a principle also called 'in the best interests of the child'. Simple, when making law.... any law... when drawing up budgets of provision, when planning city, town or village,when considering anything to do with the lives of people.. the best interests of the child have to be paramount.
Did I say "simple"?
It took a service delivery protest that turned violent, to get speed-humps put on a road through Orange Farm recently this past week. It took a toddler to get killed on that road for the residents to say "We are glad for the speed-humps. It's a pity that we had to fight for them"
Speed-humps are but a start. It's the mindset that has to change for out cities, by-laws, laws and spending to be child-centred.... of paramount consideration.
If the statement made by the kids that lived in the streets of Cologne are guidelines for us in our villages and townships, then they wanted trees to climb and give shade, child -centred recreation spaces and facilities, cycle and pedestrian paths, road crossing pedestrian bridges, evening and night-time facilities for adolescents and the young, proper sporting facilities ..... even refuse removal, running water and lighting in the streets is a child-centred need. Organised activities, child protection, circles of care and access to computers. ( in a digital age,.... no access to computers!).Children's Centres and Isibindi Safeparks.
The Children's Centre in Cologne asked the children and the children spoke... in murals, they spoke... I wonder who listened..
In South Africa the children must speak too. and we must listen.
Let not the child in our midst be a little person lost amidst a forest of adult motives and a forest of adult agendas laws and money. The child in our midst must be the child at the centre of our thinking and our listening ... of paramount consideration
Please.
Friday 31 August 2012
Wednesday 29 August 2012
Child and Youth Care in South Africa: 5 questions .. thoughts for talk 12
1. In interviews with candidates for staffing, I always ask these two questions....What was the unhappiest moment in your life?
ANSWER: almost always the same.... the death of _(a relative)_______ ( almost always through AIDS related diseases)
What was your happiest moment in your life?
ANSWER: almost always the same.... when I gave birth to my first born._____( almost always a teenage/schoolgirl pregnancy)
WHY?
2. I was elected onto the South African Professional Board for Child and Youth Care Work in February 2012. I was notifies as such in April 2012. The Board has not yet met.. end of August 2012
WHY?
3. I have never yet spoken to a young person in trouble with the law and awaiting trial who has said "I did it" . They always say..... "But I didn't do it !!"
WHY?
4. Young persons and children living in the streets always say it is preferable to being at home.
WHY?
5. Many child and youth care workers in this country are being called by a job title that is different from the name given to the profession.
WHY?
ANSWER: almost always the same.... the death of _(a relative)_______ ( almost always through AIDS related diseases)
What was your happiest moment in your life?
ANSWER: almost always the same.... when I gave birth to my first born._____( almost always a teenage/schoolgirl pregnancy)
WHY?
2. I was elected onto the South African Professional Board for Child and Youth Care Work in February 2012. I was notifies as such in April 2012. The Board has not yet met.. end of August 2012
WHY?
3. I have never yet spoken to a young person in trouble with the law and awaiting trial who has said "I did it" . They always say..... "But I didn't do it !!"
WHY?
4. Young persons and children living in the streets always say it is preferable to being at home.
WHY?
5. Many child and youth care workers in this country are being called by a job title that is different from the name given to the profession.
WHY?
Monday 27 August 2012
Children and Youth in care did this....thoughts for talk 11
1. A youth stole a detonator from the school Cadet Corp armory. At about 10.0pm one night he let it off on the soccer field. The blast was massive. All the windows in the buildings way above the epi-centre of the blast shook.
A young priest in training (ordinand) in full cassock ran down to the field to find out what it was all about, whilst the rest of the community stood outside the buildings . He discovered a boy in a tree but the blast had knocked him backwards. So he was all but hanging upside down in the tree among the branches.
"What was that ?! What are you doing?"
" Having a smoke sir," he said.
2. A group of children from another children's Home facility were travelling through Johannesburg to reach the Kruger National Park during a school holiday. So they were invited to overnight in a house in the Johannesburg Home.
In the early evening of their arrival I walked over to find out if everything was alright to find all the children and young people outside in huddles and the child care worker looking rather frantic.
" Whats-up?"
" The pocket money for the entire trip is missing.... one of the children must have stolen it. We have locked up everything searched each child, letting them out one by one.Now we are searching the house" she said.
"Hmm my training of the workers in that facility is paying off" I thought.
Whilst we are all now waiting outside along comes a giant of a youth from the Johannesburg facility.What was called a "senior boy". He did not have any other holiday arrangements so he was in the Home for the vacation.
"Whats going on?" he asks.
I told him.
" No problem" he says Sir, just leave it to me, " I'll sort it out. Just tell these kids to stand in a circle. I'll stand in the circle and start it. I'll slap the face of the kid next to me.HARD... like this!"
He swung his hand in a great full open blow .... it would have knocked me over !!
" Then he slaps the face of the kid next to him.... We go round like that until someone owns up. It works every time.. We do it like that here.. Its called a slapping circle."
3. Taking the usual stroll around... the daily routine inspection .. mainly the idea was to check the building and grounds for any possible hazards " The safety check" it was called. I came across a spread of some little pink pills in the garden .My first concern was "pinks"... the common name for Welcenol .. a rather popular drug at the time. But they were contraceptive pills. So looking up I could identify the window from which these were being thrown. It was the window next to the bed of a 17 year old girl .. on the "pill" as she was sexually active and had a regular boyfriend.
The procedure with the pill was that some were allowed to administer it to themselves. Others had to be given the pill daily by a child care worker who watched the pill being taken. This young woman was putting it under her tongue, then spitting it out of the window.
When confronted she said that she wanted to fall pregnant with her current boyfriend. He would then be forced to marry her Then she would be released out of the Home... it was a good way to get out of the "system"
A young priest in training (ordinand) in full cassock ran down to the field to find out what it was all about, whilst the rest of the community stood outside the buildings . He discovered a boy in a tree but the blast had knocked him backwards. So he was all but hanging upside down in the tree among the branches.
"What was that ?! What are you doing?"
" Having a smoke sir," he said.
2. A group of children from another children's Home facility were travelling through Johannesburg to reach the Kruger National Park during a school holiday. So they were invited to overnight in a house in the Johannesburg Home.
In the early evening of their arrival I walked over to find out if everything was alright to find all the children and young people outside in huddles and the child care worker looking rather frantic.
" Whats-up?"
" The pocket money for the entire trip is missing.... one of the children must have stolen it. We have locked up everything searched each child, letting them out one by one.Now we are searching the house" she said.
"Hmm my training of the workers in that facility is paying off" I thought.
Whilst we are all now waiting outside along comes a giant of a youth from the Johannesburg facility.What was called a "senior boy". He did not have any other holiday arrangements so he was in the Home for the vacation.
"Whats going on?" he asks.
I told him.
" No problem" he says Sir, just leave it to me, " I'll sort it out. Just tell these kids to stand in a circle. I'll stand in the circle and start it. I'll slap the face of the kid next to me.HARD... like this!"
He swung his hand in a great full open blow .... it would have knocked me over !!
" Then he slaps the face of the kid next to him.... We go round like that until someone owns up. It works every time.. We do it like that here.. Its called a slapping circle."
3. Taking the usual stroll around... the daily routine inspection .. mainly the idea was to check the building and grounds for any possible hazards " The safety check" it was called. I came across a spread of some little pink pills in the garden .My first concern was "pinks"... the common name for Welcenol .. a rather popular drug at the time. But they were contraceptive pills. So looking up I could identify the window from which these were being thrown. It was the window next to the bed of a 17 year old girl .. on the "pill" as she was sexually active and had a regular boyfriend.
The procedure with the pill was that some were allowed to administer it to themselves. Others had to be given the pill daily by a child care worker who watched the pill being taken. This young woman was putting it under her tongue, then spitting it out of the window.
When confronted she said that she wanted to fall pregnant with her current boyfriend. He would then be forced to marry her Then she would be released out of the Home... it was a good way to get out of the "system"
Friday 24 August 2012
Children select the child care workers anyway ??
With a focus in child and youth care on the principle of "participation", the question had to be asked. Should children participate in the selection of the child and youth care staff who will be their professional worker on a day to day basis? After all, there's some client choice in the way other professionals are chosen for professional intervention.
It was considered brave at the time. By some it was considered foolish. But the decision was to put some participation of children into the staff selection process. When staff selection interviews were arranged, two members of the Children's Forum, ( which we called 'Bridge') were selected by the Forum to be part of this.
The procedure was that candidates had to spend a day in the house before interview anyway. This gave the candidate insight into the clients, the routine , something of the interaction and at the same time a chance for the children to suss out something of the incoming staff as a person.
The two selected by Bridge collected the impressions of the children in that house to bring to the discussion.
They were allowed a short period in the interview, usually right at the start when the two could ask a few questions of the candidate. Then they reclused themselves for the rest to be invited back for the first part of the discussion afterwards.
They were not present for the presentation of the Psychologist's report,nor for the more intense questioning done by the adults on the panel. The final decision was that of the adults who took the children's input into consideration in the making of a final decision and called the children in to tell them of the result.
That was the FORMAL selection process.
But the real question is whether INFORMALLY , in the lifespace, the children make the final selection anyway.
There is always a process of relationship building that takes place between the children and their new childcare worker...... At first there appears to be a " goodie two-shoes" phase. Everyone trying to please the other. Then follows a testing phase. This is the hard part..... "boundary bonking".!!
The children and young people will test the limits . What is acceptable and what not by this new child care worker.
Really hard stuff this.
Limit testing is the hardest period of the child care workers introduction into a new set of relationships. It is summed up in the words of a very bright 8 year old girl " If you cant control me, you can't care for me !!"... Thing is that it feels good to feel "contained", to be allowed to be out of control is very frightening. Terrible things can happen in this testing period and new staff should be orientated to expect it, as well as supported through it. Their buttons will be pushed, and believe it, the children know just where to put their fingers. They know where to find the adults' vulnerability, even if the adult doesn't.
It is in this phase that the informal selection by the children is likely to be happening.
Depending on whether the new member handles this, the phase passes and relationships can settle. Then the real work can begin, because therapeutic work, care and development relies on relationship and the containment and management of behaviour... like the 8 year old said.." if you cant contain me you cant care for me"
So it's like this.... It seems that informally the children make the final staff selection anyway.
What do you think?
It was considered brave at the time. By some it was considered foolish. But the decision was to put some participation of children into the staff selection process. When staff selection interviews were arranged, two members of the Children's Forum, ( which we called 'Bridge') were selected by the Forum to be part of this.
The procedure was that candidates had to spend a day in the house before interview anyway. This gave the candidate insight into the clients, the routine , something of the interaction and at the same time a chance for the children to suss out something of the incoming staff as a person.
The two selected by Bridge collected the impressions of the children in that house to bring to the discussion.
They were allowed a short period in the interview, usually right at the start when the two could ask a few questions of the candidate. Then they reclused themselves for the rest to be invited back for the first part of the discussion afterwards.
They were not present for the presentation of the Psychologist's report,nor for the more intense questioning done by the adults on the panel. The final decision was that of the adults who took the children's input into consideration in the making of a final decision and called the children in to tell them of the result.
That was the FORMAL selection process.
But the real question is whether INFORMALLY , in the lifespace, the children make the final selection anyway.
There is always a process of relationship building that takes place between the children and their new childcare worker...... At first there appears to be a " goodie two-shoes" phase. Everyone trying to please the other. Then follows a testing phase. This is the hard part..... "boundary bonking".!!
The children and young people will test the limits . What is acceptable and what not by this new child care worker.
Really hard stuff this.
Limit testing is the hardest period of the child care workers introduction into a new set of relationships. It is summed up in the words of a very bright 8 year old girl " If you cant control me, you can't care for me !!"... Thing is that it feels good to feel "contained", to be allowed to be out of control is very frightening. Terrible things can happen in this testing period and new staff should be orientated to expect it, as well as supported through it. Their buttons will be pushed, and believe it, the children know just where to put their fingers. They know where to find the adults' vulnerability, even if the adult doesn't.
It is in this phase that the informal selection by the children is likely to be happening.
Depending on whether the new member handles this, the phase passes and relationships can settle. Then the real work can begin, because therapeutic work, care and development relies on relationship and the containment and management of behaviour... like the 8 year old said.." if you cant contain me you cant care for me"
So it's like this.... It seems that informally the children make the final staff selection anyway.
What do you think?
Tuesday 21 August 2012
Child and Youth Care Workers said this......thoughts for talk 10
1. Two boys bleeding at the mouth........ " I wanted to hit their shoulders to beat the demons from them, but they dodged and I hit their faces.... I didn't mean to hit their faces "
2. Staff Meeting - to discuss the introduction of breakfast as a meal prepared, mainly by the boys and in the kitchens attached to each house, as against a meal in the centralised dininghall.
ME: " The boys must be given a choice of two cereals, hot and cold"
CCW " Sir, you don't bring up children like that..... you don't give a choice - they have what you give them"
3. CCW " If you don't give this boy a merit blazer for his contribution in the Home - I'll resign"
ME: But a merit blazer is for performing at Provincial level and he isn't provincial standard"
CCW " I resign"
4 ME " We have to use fresh milk for the boys, we can no longer use powdered milk mix"
KITCHEN SUPERVISOR " Sir, If i'm over budget, you will be to blame"
5. CCW to the boys in his House...... " OK guys this is the deal.... You come to Homework (prep) in the afternoons so that when Mr Lodge does his rounds and checks up, you are all present. Then, I'll close my eyes if you don't get back to the house at the cut off time (curfew) on a Saturday night......... just don't get caught.... that's all !!"
Saturday 18 August 2012
names and naming in Africa... a child care issue
A speaker recently introduced his offspring to his audience. For each he explained the meaning of the name and the context in which it was given. What he did not tell the Christian gathering was that the family may have also been involved in some traditional African rite to insure the approval of the children's names by the wider ancestral family. These thing are often not spoken of openly. Family rites in the cultural tradition are often kept within the family...." not for everyone"... "it belongs to us". It seems that among Christian peoples especially, there is a fear that the church or people in the church will be critical or even condemn involvement in traditional practices. So, people tend to become secretive.
Among younger people there could be a tendency to hide or mask involvement in traditional practices .. like naming rites, on the grounds of being 'modern'. " traditional practices are for the 'old people'..........it's what the 'old people do or did" so younger people may try to hide their involvement or perhaps even ignore traditional practices because the don't want to be regarded critically in contemporary 'universal' culture as 'superstitious'.
But somehow, in the end, the importance of traditional practices cannot be ignored... and here the focus is on "naming ".In Africa names have meaning. Names have power. names it is understood can shape children's lives.
A young woman with the Setswana name meaning 'tears' constantly relates the stream of difficulties in her life to the meaning of her name. "My name is 'tears' .... I have a life of tears" she will say.
A the wider family of a pregnant sixteen year old gathered themselves with their ancestors to discuss the schoolgirls situation and that of her soon to be born baby. The decision was that she should not give the child to a family member but suckle and raise it herself. There was a condition attached to this. The child must be called 'It is agreed'.. In this the little girl child grew up with the comfort of knowing she was wanted, settled and approved of by the whole wider family and her ancestors.
Names are sometimes given in addition to the given name in order to satisfy the spiritual dimension of the child's life. ... and this is not only to be found in black African communities.
In South Africa we have a Tamil speaking Hindu community. Nine days after birth the priest is visited to give the naming requirements for the child. Usually the first letter or first letters of the name that will provide the child with its spiritually approved identity. Parents will take this name as the child's name. If they have given the child a name of their own choice then the 'religious name' will be an additional perhaps second name for the child.and used as the child's religious or spiritual identity. A Tamilian mother of two said " I suppose I didn't want to use the 'religious ' names for the children as their given names because at the time I wanted to be seen as a modern woman"
But what if , in Africa this is ignored .
Often the indications that naming rites, and naming approvals have not been satisfactorily done is manifested in ongoing misfortune or constant sickness and even in misbehaviour...often bring distress to the parents and family.Getting the right name, then becomes important in shifting the pattern of the child's life. Names approved in the spiritual dimension have powerful effect on the well being of the child and the family.
This was so for Simon, son of Jonas. ..... son of the fluttering dove. .. The Simon , disciple of Jesus who was impulsive, outspoken often inappropriately, unsettled, denied even knowing him......... " You will be called 'Peter'.... the 'rock'..... and we experience a new character: foundational, reliable and upholding of patience and tolerance.
So the idea is not new, nor confined to black Africa. But it is very much an African thing..... Names, naming and naming rites..cannot be ignored.
The question is simple as always.
What significance do names. naming and naming rites have for us in our everyday practice as child and youth care workers in the African context.?
In therapeutic work in Africa, we may have to think this through very carefully..../ and will we have to change anything in our procedures and practice to be fully African in Africa???
Among younger people there could be a tendency to hide or mask involvement in traditional practices .. like naming rites, on the grounds of being 'modern'. " traditional practices are for the 'old people'..........it's what the 'old people do or did" so younger people may try to hide their involvement or perhaps even ignore traditional practices because the don't want to be regarded critically in contemporary 'universal' culture as 'superstitious'.
But somehow, in the end, the importance of traditional practices cannot be ignored... and here the focus is on "naming ".In Africa names have meaning. Names have power. names it is understood can shape children's lives.
A young woman with the Setswana name meaning 'tears' constantly relates the stream of difficulties in her life to the meaning of her name. "My name is 'tears' .... I have a life of tears" she will say.
A the wider family of a pregnant sixteen year old gathered themselves with their ancestors to discuss the schoolgirls situation and that of her soon to be born baby. The decision was that she should not give the child to a family member but suckle and raise it herself. There was a condition attached to this. The child must be called 'It is agreed'.. In this the little girl child grew up with the comfort of knowing she was wanted, settled and approved of by the whole wider family and her ancestors.
Names are sometimes given in addition to the given name in order to satisfy the spiritual dimension of the child's life. ... and this is not only to be found in black African communities.
In South Africa we have a Tamil speaking Hindu community. Nine days after birth the priest is visited to give the naming requirements for the child. Usually the first letter or first letters of the name that will provide the child with its spiritually approved identity. Parents will take this name as the child's name. If they have given the child a name of their own choice then the 'religious name' will be an additional perhaps second name for the child.and used as the child's religious or spiritual identity. A Tamilian mother of two said " I suppose I didn't want to use the 'religious ' names for the children as their given names because at the time I wanted to be seen as a modern woman"
But what if , in Africa this is ignored .
Often the indications that naming rites, and naming approvals have not been satisfactorily done is manifested in ongoing misfortune or constant sickness and even in misbehaviour...often bring distress to the parents and family.Getting the right name, then becomes important in shifting the pattern of the child's life. Names approved in the spiritual dimension have powerful effect on the well being of the child and the family.
This was so for Simon, son of Jonas. ..... son of the fluttering dove. .. The Simon , disciple of Jesus who was impulsive, outspoken often inappropriately, unsettled, denied even knowing him......... " You will be called 'Peter'.... the 'rock'..... and we experience a new character: foundational, reliable and upholding of patience and tolerance.
So the idea is not new, nor confined to black Africa. But it is very much an African thing..... Names, naming and naming rites..cannot be ignored.
The question is simple as always.
What significance do names. naming and naming rites have for us in our everyday practice as child and youth care workers in the African context.?
In therapeutic work in Africa, we may have to think this through very carefully..../ and will we have to change anything in our procedures and practice to be fully African in Africa???
Wednesday 15 August 2012
What comes first....child care or procedure?
Tobile is 10 years old. She lives in an inner-city informal settlement (squatter camp) in a slum area of Johannesburg. There are three hundred people living in 70 shacks on an urban site that was once a house and a garden. The house is still there . It houses 5 families and is the access point serving the whole settlement for water and a toilet. So small is the site that the shacks, really no more than single rooms, are built one up against the other. To move between them means walking single file and sometimes sideways on. It's easy to get lost in there if you don't know your way about
Tobile often comes to the motor-gate of my house. "Mr Ba !...........Mr Ba......!" she calls most frequently to ask for food. Sometimes just to say hello.
This time the call was more urgent.." MR BA !.....MR BA !....."
This time it was not a simple request for food.
'Mr Ba...... Mr Ba.......tell a social worker to come and TAKE ME NOW!!"
She wanted to talk and she was crying. " I have nowhere to stay. The man I was staying with has gone to Soweto with that other girl"
Her mother frequently leaves Tobile in the settlement with anyone who will take her when she is herself incapacitated by alcohol, has a boyfriend moved in, or is looking for work. The man she was talking about was a man in his 70's and there was a clear picture of Tobile at risk , if not being sexually abused.
So that is what I did. I called the Provincial Offices and told Tobile's story. " It's a city problem" they said.
I called the City Offices.
Weeks past.
One night a fire broke out in the settlement. The risk of fire there was huge and happened at least twice a year, but this time it was worse than usual The whole settlement went up in flames.Three people died. They just could not get out of the shacks or escape the maze between them. White/grey ash was everywhere, in mounds and thinly spread by the wind, everywhere.
When I got there , three better dressed women were standing looking into the smouldering site. Shack dwellers hung around in groups in the street.
" I ned a Social Worker" I said.
" We are social workers" said the oldest......." She is a student social worker " pointing to the youngest who looked grey like the ash.
" These people need Blankets and food" I said. We need City Emergency Services. Tents, .. .
" You have to ask the nearest fire station . They are the contact persons for City Emergency Services. We have brought mealie meal and beans."
I pulled Tobile from a group in the street.
"Please", I said, " talk to this little girl. She will tell you. She needs a Place of Safety. She needs protection, now. Please speak to her. I have never had a child ask to be removed ever before. Please, hear her story."
" Where's the mother?" said the oldest.
I brought forward the mother. She had another small child on her hip and breast fed while she faced the worker. "I cant do anything " she said unless I have an ID Book or some form of identity.
" Where is the child's ID? " she said to Ma-Tobile.
The young student worker hung back and touched Tobile on her shoulder.
The mother in silence lifted her arm, spread her fingers, then very slowly swept her outstretched hand in an arc from left to right toward the piles of smouldering timber and twisted galvanized iron sheets. Then she walked back to the group in the street.
Tobile followed.
(This is the real story behind an article written I wrote, previously published in the NACCW journal: Child and Youth Care Volume 20 No4 April 2002. Some material was taken from it. )
Tobile often comes to the motor-gate of my house. "Mr Ba !...........Mr Ba......!" she calls most frequently to ask for food. Sometimes just to say hello.
This time the call was more urgent.." MR BA !.....MR BA !....."
This time it was not a simple request for food.
'Mr Ba...... Mr Ba.......tell a social worker to come and TAKE ME NOW!!"
She wanted to talk and she was crying. " I have nowhere to stay. The man I was staying with has gone to Soweto with that other girl"
Her mother frequently leaves Tobile in the settlement with anyone who will take her when she is herself incapacitated by alcohol, has a boyfriend moved in, or is looking for work. The man she was talking about was a man in his 70's and there was a clear picture of Tobile at risk , if not being sexually abused.
So that is what I did. I called the Provincial Offices and told Tobile's story. " It's a city problem" they said.
I called the City Offices.
Weeks past.
One night a fire broke out in the settlement. The risk of fire there was huge and happened at least twice a year, but this time it was worse than usual The whole settlement went up in flames.Three people died. They just could not get out of the shacks or escape the maze between them. White/grey ash was everywhere, in mounds and thinly spread by the wind, everywhere.
When I got there , three better dressed women were standing looking into the smouldering site. Shack dwellers hung around in groups in the street.
" I ned a Social Worker" I said.
" We are social workers" said the oldest......." She is a student social worker " pointing to the youngest who looked grey like the ash.
" These people need Blankets and food" I said. We need City Emergency Services. Tents, .. .
" You have to ask the nearest fire station . They are the contact persons for City Emergency Services. We have brought mealie meal and beans."
I pulled Tobile from a group in the street.
"Please", I said, " talk to this little girl. She will tell you. She needs a Place of Safety. She needs protection, now. Please speak to her. I have never had a child ask to be removed ever before. Please, hear her story."
" Where's the mother?" said the oldest.
I brought forward the mother. She had another small child on her hip and breast fed while she faced the worker. "I cant do anything " she said unless I have an ID Book or some form of identity.
" Where is the child's ID? " she said to Ma-Tobile.
The young student worker hung back and touched Tobile on her shoulder.
The mother in silence lifted her arm, spread her fingers, then very slowly swept her outstretched hand in an arc from left to right toward the piles of smouldering timber and twisted galvanized iron sheets. Then she walked back to the group in the street.
Tobile followed.
(This is the real story behind an article written I wrote, previously published in the NACCW journal: Child and Youth Care Volume 20 No4 April 2002. Some material was taken from it. )
Thursday 9 August 2012
It's child and youth care ..good people get hurt
You must be crazy. Don't do it. You are going to to get very hurt. It is the most painful job in the world. Just think very carefully. You are going to get hurt. Are you sure that you can deal with it?
Written without exclamation marks.... it was the reaction of a colleague at the University when he learnt that I was to leave to go into child and youth care.... and he knew more from first hand experience than I did at that moment.
"I want to tell you " he said.
He and his wife had 4 or maybe 5 children of their own, a large house with a swimming pool. They had developed a relationship with three children who they were hosting some weekends from a local 'Children's Home" The hosting was not easy, the three displayed some difficult to manage behaviour but the had attached enough to seriously consider fostering them. He and his wife had attended hosting and then foster-care training.The had attached to the children and wanted to give them something of the family experience and chances their own children enjoyed.
They were very good people and loving.
Thing is,.. if you are going to be with children with troubles, then you have to expect troubled behaviour. But this couple could not be and were not prepared for what happened.
One weekend it was the children's biological fathers turn to have the children for the weekend.
.....and the phone-call came. The father had shot all three children one after the other and turned the gun on himself. If he couldn't have the children then no-one would.
"They were my children" said my colleague. " My wife and I we lost three children".
"You are crazy.....my advice to you is don't do it. Don't go into child and youth care. Are you sure that you are going to cope?"
Recently, that comment returned in another incident." "They were my children. I want to die."
A local safe house experienced the tragic death by fire of three brothers. They were sleeping in a wooden outbuilding which caught fire one evening and trapped, the three were burnt to death... no experience in looking after children can equal this. Good people with god hearts, losing children to death, ... and getting very hurt.
Rumours around the fire abound - so nothing can be said until proper investigation reports are published. But there is one fact for sure, and this was reported in the local press. The three were to have spent their last night in that wooden outbuilding before they were to have gone to another facility the next day.
There was an incident in the facility I last directed. On the night before two boys were to have be moved to a group home, they spread their feces on the walls of their room and used it also to make comments and write slogans for the next two boys who would occupy it. The two boys made it clear. If they couldn't be in that room, then no-one else would .
The destruction of a living or recreation space to be vacated by the children we care for is not uncommon. The thing is again... if you are to be with children who have troubles, then you have to expect troubled behaviour.
.....and its then that good people get hurt.
"
Written without exclamation marks.... it was the reaction of a colleague at the University when he learnt that I was to leave to go into child and youth care.... and he knew more from first hand experience than I did at that moment.
"I want to tell you " he said.
He and his wife had 4 or maybe 5 children of their own, a large house with a swimming pool. They had developed a relationship with three children who they were hosting some weekends from a local 'Children's Home" The hosting was not easy, the three displayed some difficult to manage behaviour but the had attached enough to seriously consider fostering them. He and his wife had attended hosting and then foster-care training.The had attached to the children and wanted to give them something of the family experience and chances their own children enjoyed.
They were very good people and loving.
Thing is,.. if you are going to be with children with troubles, then you have to expect troubled behaviour. But this couple could not be and were not prepared for what happened.
One weekend it was the children's biological fathers turn to have the children for the weekend.
.....and the phone-call came. The father had shot all three children one after the other and turned the gun on himself. If he couldn't have the children then no-one would.
"They were my children" said my colleague. " My wife and I we lost three children".
"You are crazy.....my advice to you is don't do it. Don't go into child and youth care. Are you sure that you are going to cope?"
Recently, that comment returned in another incident." "They were my children. I want to die."
A local safe house experienced the tragic death by fire of three brothers. They were sleeping in a wooden outbuilding which caught fire one evening and trapped, the three were burnt to death... no experience in looking after children can equal this. Good people with god hearts, losing children to death, ... and getting very hurt.
Rumours around the fire abound - so nothing can be said until proper investigation reports are published. But there is one fact for sure, and this was reported in the local press. The three were to have spent their last night in that wooden outbuilding before they were to have gone to another facility the next day.
There was an incident in the facility I last directed. On the night before two boys were to have be moved to a group home, they spread their feces on the walls of their room and used it also to make comments and write slogans for the next two boys who would occupy it. The two boys made it clear. If they couldn't be in that room, then no-one else would .
The destruction of a living or recreation space to be vacated by the children we care for is not uncommon. The thing is again... if you are to be with children who have troubles, then you have to expect troubled behaviour.
.....and its then that good people get hurt.
"
Monday 6 August 2012
Children who give up hope...HIV/AIDS in Africa
We all know that Africa , South of the Sahara has the largest estimated HIV/Aids population in the world. South Africa has more people living with HIV/Aids that any other country in the world - - and estimated official figure of 5,7 million in 2009.
Almost one in three women aged 25 - 29 and over a quarters of the men aged 30 - 34 are living with HIV/AIDS. (www.avert.org/aidssouthafrica.htm)
"The impact of the AIDS epidemic" says this report, is the devastating effect on children in a number of ways.... The age bracket that AIDS most heavily targets - younger adults - means that it is not uncommon for for one or more parents to die from AIDS (sic) while their offspring are still young. The number of premature deaths due to HIV/AIDS has risen significantly over the last decade from 39% to 75% in 2010. (www.doh.gov.za/docs/reports-f.html)
But another set of estimates give us a more startling statistic. When asked to estimate the number of persons, male female and children who are living with the HIV virus or have AIDS, child and youth care workers and home-based care workers in a semi-rural village in the North West Province of South Africa and in a Semi-urban Township in the Gauteng Province put the figure at 50%. About half of the full population Including older people who ,they said, were at risk as they were largely ignorant of the way the virus is transmitted especially when caring for their HIV positive grandchildren.
Official statistics are put together on the basis of official attendances at clinics and hospitals, but this is "shoe-leather" research (African style) in the town and village and is sometimes informally more accurate.
The impact of ARVs has to have an effect on the statistics and premature deaths. It also has an effect on the lifespan of children living with the virus. They're living longer......so we are finding young people in the high Schools with the virus and taking ARVs
I was told, on the same day,in the semi-rural village, of two girls in this age group - both 16 who have been affected in all the ways mentioned so far. Both 16, both orphaned, both living with the virus, both on ARVs
...and both given up hope.
Lets take Lebogang
She has two children aged 3years and 18months..... and remember... she is 16. She is living with HIV/AIDS She lives alone with the children in an RDP house (Reconstruction and Development Project) This at age 16 makes her the head and responsible for a child headed household. She lives in abject poverty . She does have the professional (daily) support of a child and youth care worker from the Isibindi Project in the village.... a project for the professional care of orphans, child-headed households and vulnerable children as a result of HIV/AIDS.
Lebogang has given up hope.
These are here arguments:
Whats the point
I'm going to die anyway
Who cares?
Why should I care?
I have nothing to live for actually
I am going to get sick and die ... just like my mother did.
These are exactly the same words that I heard from a youth of about the same age who was in deep trouble with the law. He had lot both parents at the same time.
and these are the words of Refilwe the other girl in the same village and in a granny headed household. She has dropped out of school. living in depression and doing nothing. Especially she is refusing her ARVs. These children have given up hope..... not just a passing moment. They really don't see any point to it any more.
It is a very dangerous place to be.
Lets take Lebogang:
She has amazing strengths. She is clever. She has an ability to read complex situations in the moment and to take advantage of them.. for her own benefit. She can plan and execute in a flash. Sh knows how to use her qualities, strengths and assets to get where she wants to be.
But she has lost hope.
For Lebogang there IS NO FUTURE. only the present and in the present she has to make the best of what she has. So,she has sex with older men(30 something). She knows how to play the "5 Cs game" ... Cash, Cellphone, Clothing.... (not yet the Car and Condo... but she might yet get there ! ) and the "F Game", Food, Furniture , Finance. She also steals clothing and money when the opportunity arises.She doesn't take her ARVs... she sees no point.She dropped out of school three months ago. She has no reason to get up in the morning, so if it were not for the child and youth care worker, they would not get their ARVs, get breakfast or get to the creche.
BUT from a child and youth care perspective there is hope for Lebogang. She has all the strengths and capacity to make good.She can have hope.
Lebogang excels at netball. It is easy to see how all the strengths that she has can be used in a game like this. She really is good. As a child she comes to the local village "Safe Park" and there in the afternoons she demonstrates her play-making ability by helping the other girls.... she steals their clothing!... but she can and does coach... she can even coach the coach.
Because she has dropped out of school, she isn't playing for a team.... but she could. Rhe nearest town isnt that fara aay and with a little help she could be introduced into a club, a team and play tournament netball. She would be on her way to local, regional and provincial and representation.
There can be hope
And then if she has something to live for. some purpose in her life. She might take the ARVs. ... because if she can live for another 7 to 9 years there will be a cure.
In the meantime we have Lebogang and many others like her who have given up hope.
This is the work of the child and youth care worker in Africa and in South Africa.
We can turn these young lives around
Almost one in three women aged 25 - 29 and over a quarters of the men aged 30 - 34 are living with HIV/AIDS. (www.avert.org/aidssouthafrica.htm)
"The impact of the AIDS epidemic" says this report, is the devastating effect on children in a number of ways.... The age bracket that AIDS most heavily targets - younger adults - means that it is not uncommon for for one or more parents to die from AIDS (sic) while their offspring are still young. The number of premature deaths due to HIV/AIDS has risen significantly over the last decade from 39% to 75% in 2010. (www.doh.gov.za/docs/reports-f.html)
But another set of estimates give us a more startling statistic. When asked to estimate the number of persons, male female and children who are living with the HIV virus or have AIDS, child and youth care workers and home-based care workers in a semi-rural village in the North West Province of South Africa and in a Semi-urban Township in the Gauteng Province put the figure at 50%. About half of the full population Including older people who ,they said, were at risk as they were largely ignorant of the way the virus is transmitted especially when caring for their HIV positive grandchildren.
Official statistics are put together on the basis of official attendances at clinics and hospitals, but this is "shoe-leather" research (African style) in the town and village and is sometimes informally more accurate.
The impact of ARVs has to have an effect on the statistics and premature deaths. It also has an effect on the lifespan of children living with the virus. They're living longer......so we are finding young people in the high Schools with the virus and taking ARVs
I was told, on the same day,in the semi-rural village, of two girls in this age group - both 16 who have been affected in all the ways mentioned so far. Both 16, both orphaned, both living with the virus, both on ARVs
...and both given up hope.
Lets take Lebogang
She has two children aged 3years and 18months..... and remember... she is 16. She is living with HIV/AIDS She lives alone with the children in an RDP house (Reconstruction and Development Project) This at age 16 makes her the head and responsible for a child headed household. She lives in abject poverty . She does have the professional (daily) support of a child and youth care worker from the Isibindi Project in the village.... a project for the professional care of orphans, child-headed households and vulnerable children as a result of HIV/AIDS.
Lebogang has given up hope.
These are here arguments:
Whats the point
I'm going to die anyway
Who cares?
Why should I care?
I have nothing to live for actually
I am going to get sick and die ... just like my mother did.
These are exactly the same words that I heard from a youth of about the same age who was in deep trouble with the law. He had lot both parents at the same time.
and these are the words of Refilwe the other girl in the same village and in a granny headed household. She has dropped out of school. living in depression and doing nothing. Especially she is refusing her ARVs. These children have given up hope..... not just a passing moment. They really don't see any point to it any more.
It is a very dangerous place to be.
Lets take Lebogang:
She has amazing strengths. She is clever. She has an ability to read complex situations in the moment and to take advantage of them.. for her own benefit. She can plan and execute in a flash. Sh knows how to use her qualities, strengths and assets to get where she wants to be.
But she has lost hope.
For Lebogang there IS NO FUTURE. only the present and in the present she has to make the best of what she has. So,she has sex with older men(30 something). She knows how to play the "5 Cs game" ... Cash, Cellphone, Clothing.... (not yet the Car and Condo... but she might yet get there ! ) and the "F Game", Food, Furniture , Finance. She also steals clothing and money when the opportunity arises.She doesn't take her ARVs... she sees no point.She dropped out of school three months ago. She has no reason to get up in the morning, so if it were not for the child and youth care worker, they would not get their ARVs, get breakfast or get to the creche.
BUT from a child and youth care perspective there is hope for Lebogang. She has all the strengths and capacity to make good.She can have hope.
Lebogang excels at netball. It is easy to see how all the strengths that she has can be used in a game like this. She really is good. As a child she comes to the local village "Safe Park" and there in the afternoons she demonstrates her play-making ability by helping the other girls.... she steals their clothing!... but she can and does coach... she can even coach the coach.
Because she has dropped out of school, she isn't playing for a team.... but she could. Rhe nearest town isnt that fara aay and with a little help she could be introduced into a club, a team and play tournament netball. She would be on her way to local, regional and provincial and representation.
There can be hope
And then if she has something to live for. some purpose in her life. She might take the ARVs. ... because if she can live for another 7 to 9 years there will be a cure.
In the meantime we have Lebogang and many others like her who have given up hope.
This is the work of the child and youth care worker in Africa and in South Africa.
We can turn these young lives around
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