Monday 25 March 2024

Money Matters

 



He had a first floor room -  not in the dormitory proper, but a small single bed room. It was because as an intellectually challenged late teen, just about ready to  leave school for a trade centre, he found the big group dynamics to be way beyond his social coping.

The unexpected was discovered. He had fitted his outside window frame with razor wire and wouldn't say why.

Eventually we got there.

He was was afraid;  protecting his pocket-money from robbery by his bigger stronger brothers who were in another dormitory building.

     "But you're on the first floor. How do they get in ?"

      "At night they climb the drain-pipe and open my window. They take my money. They say they will beat me up if I tell ."  

We moved him to a burglar guarded room little room next to the child and youth care worker's room.

The weak exploited by the strong.

 A matter of money.

He wasn't  the only one.

There was a small group if big, stronger boys who I called the 'big boot boys', the "mafia group. They were up to all kinds of tricks amounting to intimidation, extortion and getting others to steal for them.

For some of the younger boys, they acted as protective big brothers in return for 'safety money' or skivvying .

 All of this was masked, hidden, by the dynamics of the very large      group dormitory setting.

 No-one knows, no-one tells, the safety and fear of an anonymous, faceless, gang-like loyalty.

Moving into the small group home setting put an end to this.

No longer able to hide in and behind a big group, money matters for child and youth care workers shifted to finding ways of making money matters a matter growth and life-time learning.

Child and youth care facilities had to comply with professional approaches and practices with children, youth and money-learning within the limitations and negatives arising From 'welfare' organisational financing - a tap dance around funding verses professional child and youth are educare practice.; to tap-dance around the public attitude and thinking about welfare and the 'life-long world views of children in care.  

There is, out there a public I called 'well intentioned do-gooders' who really do more harm than good.

All too often, in comes a stream of cardboard boxes or black trash bags filled with donations; outgrown, worn, even broken, toys, clothing shoes, games and puzzles.

The organisation sends a gratitudinal letter of thanks and appreciation..

How do you say "No! we need non-perishable food . We need money, not hand- me-downs

Best practice organisational models have learnt how to turn hand-me downs into money. They have opened charity shops, jumble sales and morning markets all income to the child and youth care centre. They try as well as they can to discreetly and diplomatically to expose the public and donors to the the way money matters in child and youth care educare practice operates in their centres- how the avoidance of 'learned dependence', handouts and hand-me downs empowers and develops children for life.

It's the give a person a fish verses teach them how to fish mantra.

The first child and youth care money- learning educare practice tackled was 'unlearning learned independence'  - "the world owes me, so I expect to be supplied by others" We had to shift from a hand=out world view to a learning of money value, saving budgeting; how money is earned and not handed out.

To be honest, at that time, I sometimes thought, undoubtedly unfairly, that it was as much of a learning curve in child and youth care practice as it was for the children. 

Each house was given a budget. Children helped draw up a shopping list and went shopping with the child and youth care worker. Clothing allowances replaced handouts. A policy of  'when it is finished, it is finished' was established. Treats and outings were highly regulated.

 Good money matter exposure in preparation for life was a child and youth care work educare essential.

 It's what we do.   









 

   







 

Sunday 10 March 2024

Taking the gap professionally



Who said this, I can't remember. It was given to me by an experienced child and youth care worker after about six years of my coming into practise.

    "The measure of your professionality is the time you take to act."

At that time, for me, there was -  only one time - NOW ! Whatever the acting out situation was, everything, anything, I thought, demanded of me, Immediate reaction, immediate intervention. 

     "Thing has to be sorted NOW!'' 

I Do remember this. It was a story Thom Garfat told of his situational child and youth care response.

He got the frequently urgent call.

        "You'd better come NOW. They're throwing everything out of              the window. Everything - furniture, everything."

He knew it was a second floor window. He went. It was as the had said.

          "What are you going to do" they asked.

           "I'm going back to my office to think."

Thom said, he lay on the carpet in his office for an hour. Then, he went back.

             "What are you going to do?"

              "Anything damaged, or lost will not be replaced."

               "IS THAT ALL ?"

               "That's all. Anything damaged, or lost will not be replaced."

As an accountable professional, he explained his decision. It would take time. There was no quick fix. No immediate action would have made a difference in behavioural mindset. Doing without was a lesson for life.

In 1996, within a week of my appointment to a large, dormitory residential setting for boys, Thom Garfat and his wife came to South Africa for a workshop tour. I was asked to host them. 

We were sitting in the lounge when came a loud shouting outside my house. Thom and I looked through the bars of my back patio gate. A large group of boys had grouped and were yelling. It was a group protest, Thom said.

         "Go out there. Be firm. Disperse them, you'll talk to three of               their leaders tomorrow in the morning They are testing you."

This was a first for me - having to face what I experienced as a 'mob'.

Out I went, well advised, firm and decisive with a plan and a timeframe.

           "Go back to your dormitories. Whatever it is you want me to              know, choose three boys to speak for you and i       will meet 

 with them in my office first thing in the morning."

Bit of a chatter. They dispersed.

Thom had watched the whole interaction through the wooden bars of the patio gate.

On my return:

             "You did well," he said.

There was no carpet; no hour of thinking.

               "Go out there, Be firm."

The same Thom Garfat, a different response time for a different child and youth care situation.

I was getting it!

Victor Frankl wrote. 

               "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that                       space is our power to choose our response. In our                                 response lies our growth and our freedom."

In child and youth care practice that space can vary from ignoring and deliberate delay to acting in a flash. Take the gap we must. It is called the move from instinct, our REACTION to our PROFESSIONAL RESPONSE.

No matter how emotive is the situation the child and youth care worker takes a step back. The inner professional voice speaks, shifts focus from our personal self to our professional self. Focus! - it's not what is happening inside me that matters now, it's what's going on inside that child. inside the young people.

There are huge learnt professional skills at work in that gap between stimulus and response.

We have learnt to stay calm 'no matter what', no matter when.

We have learnt to relax our bodies in moments of stress. We have learnt to breath.

 We have learnt to regulate our tone of voice.

WE have learnt to  swiftly observe and take note.

 We have learnt to ask "What's REALLY  going on here - to grasp the hidden behind the observable. WE call it MEANING MAKING IN THE MOMENT.

WE ask "What lessons for life are there for the children if I handle this professionally?"

WE take the gap between stimulus and response and we choose to act professionally.

 That's what we do.